Best LEO practical jokes:

[Dragon]

Share your best practical jokes that you have played on coworkers:

(Fess up- you know who ya are :twofinger :laughing)

[RickyHayden]

I heard about one at a department....

Someone left their locker open and a fellow co-worker snagged his $50 starbucks card. The following day the co- worker came in to work with coffee for everyone, even the owner of the card. When the owner of the gift card said "Thanks" he replied " No, thank you, you bought everyone coffee today"

So the next day the owner of the card brought in some X-lax brownies to work, and warned everyone who didnt receive coffee not to eat the brownies.

By the end of the day the plate was scraped and the all the brownies were gone! :laughing

Eh some of my details may be off you get the picture :twofinger

[Dragon]

OK so this a FD practical joke-

We had this guy who always thought it was funny to put rubber snakes in our helmets- so when we got a call and went to don our brain bucket- the fake snake would drop on your lap...

It was funny for a while, until I found a gopher snake (a real live one), had him put in the frig for 30 mins so the snake would take a nap.

Said gopher snake was then loaded into his helmet. Dispatch was called... and low and behold... our tones go off.

RubberSnakeBoy jumps in the rig, goes to put on his helmet, real snake drops in his lap- and he goes- "OK REAL Funny guys!" as he picks it up and realizes it's not made out of rubber... I've never seen someone jump off a firetruck that quick.

-----
This is also the same guy who on his first fire... sat on the microphone as our brush rig's engine died and a small wall of flames was approaching us... and he was screaming "WE'RE GONNA F'N DIE! WE'RE GONNA F'N DIE!" I go to pic up the mic to ask for help and notice the mic is missing- look at the radio and TX light is on. As soon as I pulled the mic from under his a$$: Dispatch comes up and burns (no pun) us on the air... "Patrol36A you have an open mic"

[deaconblues]

not exactly a practical joke per se, but one of those smeg-ups you're not supposed to do...

Was working SAR radio back in Santa Fe, we had a mission to locate some tourist up in the Sandias I think it was. Since we were a college volunteer team, we didn't go through all of the police training, just some of the basics in regards to police radios, rescue ops, first responder classes, and so on.

Anyways, we ran two radio frequencies, one for team use, and the state police SAR freq. One of our team leads lost track which one he was using, or something and instead of replying to a query properly "Roger that, Aye-firmative, 10-4, etc" he replied with his usual mode of assent "Far f*ckin' out, man."


:wtf :cry :mad

The CAP conducted two weeks worth of radio etiquette classes on campus, after that one.

[Dragon]

I had a buddy who was responding to code 3 cover call in a cruiser... he had the mic in one hand and as the car started to slide sideways in the intersection. The mic became entangled in the steering wheel... while he was yelling "F@ck! F@ck! F@ck! F@ck!!!" while attempting to regain control of his car...

whoops :teeth

[Tom2]

ok:


krazy glue a lock on a locker. no big deal. duct tape the lower openings of a locker. no big deal. then fill locker 1/5 with water.


take mike off downed unit and hook up to the holder in the unit. put the real mike between the front seats (open mike)...


10-8 gerbal only:teeth

[Dragon]

Originally posted by Tom2
ok:


krazy glue a lock on a locker. no big deal. duct tape the lower openings of a locker. no big deal. then fill locker 1/5 with water.




wire coat hanger- bird's nest the lock with said wire hanger- cover the nest with vaseline.

Seal the bottom quarter of the locker with temporary weather seal (in can)

Fill locker with sand thru slots...

Get the hell outta dodge :teeth

[Sidewalk]

Originally posted by RickyHayden
I heard about one at a department....

Someone left their locker open and a fellow co-worker snagged his $50 starbucks card. The following day the co- worker came in to work with coffee for everyone, even the owner of the card. When the owner of the gift card said "Thanks" he replied " No, thank you, you bought everyone coffee today"

So the next day the owner of the card brought in some X-lax brownies to work, and warned everyone who didnt receive coffee not to eat the brownies.

By the end of the day the plate was scraped and the all the brownies were gone! :laughing

Eh some of my details may be off you get the picture :twofinger I need to remember that one :D


I absolutely hate theives in any way. I especially hate it from people who should be honorable and trust worthy.

[magyarbetyar]

Take all those hole punch confetti leftovers. . .dump in defrost vent. . .turn defrost fan to max. . . .stand by and watch as partner get in and starts her up :laughing :laughing

[Brash47]

Just a couple...

Young kid was on his last week of FTO (field training). He was sent to a false alarm call at one of our buildings...was a ruse. He had to walk through the whole building. While he was in the building, other officers went to his car, opened it (we have same key for all cars) and rolled the passenger window down.

They removed the shotgun and dumped some broken glass on the ground in the passenger seat and on the ground beside the car. The rest of the platoon waited behind some bushes for the recruit and his FTO to come back out of the building.

The recruit went to get in the car, but the FTO (who was in on it), says..."Hey, the car window is busted out." The recruit looks in the car and says...OH SHIT, the shotgun is gone...some one broke in and stole that shit." Did I mention that the guys in the bushes were videotaping this prank?

He panics and starts with the, "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck" routine. He looks at his FTO (who is stifling a big laugh)and says, "Oh shit, what do I do?" His FTO says, "I dont know man, but you need to tell the Sergeant." So the kid gets on the radio....calls the sergeant and says, "I need you to come over here, I have a problem." His Sergeant, who is also hiding in the bushes says, "I'm busy right now, tell me what it is on the air, I can't come over there right now."

The recruit says, "I REALLY REALLY need you here now." The sergeant says, "Im out on a call right now, just tell me what it is." He says, "I can't on the air." So his Sergeant tells him, "Ok, fine I'll send another Sergeant over there. The other Sergeant arrives (also in on the prank) and looks at the car. The recruit says, "What do I do...im on my last week of FTO." The Sergeant says, "I don't know exactly what to do....but dude, you're fucked!"

He says, "I don't know how your going to explain this off the the LT, but I think your fucked." The recruit looks back in the car, see's his FTO's water bottle and smartly says, "Hey at least they didn't steal your water." The recruit starts pouting and then gets mad at himself and starts saying ways he could have prevented it. While he is getting ready to cry, the rest of the platoon comes out of the bushes and gives him a huge laugh...it took about 2 days for him to get over the joke. He wasn't mad, just was upset that he didn't figure out it was a prank at first.

We had a guy switching to LAPD. On his last day at work, we took him to dinner. While we were hanging out with him, another officer went and moved his patrol car 3 blocks away from where he parked it. After dinner, we all parted ways and just sat waiting for the officer to tell the Sergeant that his car had been stolen.

After about 10 minutes, he comes over the air and says, "Sarge, I really need to see you down here." Once again...in on the prank, the Sergeant says, "Too busy, just tell me what you need." After a few minutes of telling the Sergeant he can't say it on the air, he finally says, "Someone stole my patrol car....we better get an APB out on this. Whoever stole it may be doing a crime with it right now."

The Sergeant comes back over the air and says, "Officer, we will get that information out, but for right now, have another officer pick you up. You need to return to the station and come to my office. Make sure you have your police ID and your sidearm."

He comes into the office where we ALL are and just realizes what happened. He laughed pretty hard.

brash

[Dragon]

We did the brick trick- but wish I had it on video :laughing

The target was yelling when I sat in his car- DON'T TOUCH THE BRICK THERE'S PRINTS ON IT! :laughing


I got in turned on his ignition- rolled the "broken window" up and said WOW as the window closed- these Fords are great- they have a spare...

It took him a good 15 seconds to figure it out.

[KXP]

Originally posted by Dragon
I had a buddy who was responding to code 3 cover call in a cruiser... he had the mic in one hand and as the car started to slide sideways in the intersection. The mic became entangled in the steering wheel... while he was yelling "F@ck! F@ck! F@ck! F@ck!!!" while attempting to regain control of his car...

whoops :teeth
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! now thats classic.

[Tom2]

while LT was in church (in uniform, in a city vehicle - marked unit) we took the vehicle and parked it in the corp yard, way in the back......



he didn't find it until the following day.




this was YEARS ago..... statute of limitations has passed

[thump]

Not an LEO prank, but in the same general vein...


For reasons that to this day have never became entirely clear to me, part of training involved moving a cadaver from slab 'a' to slab 'b' in the mortuary.

Not far, just a few yards.

Anyway, the standing joke for spooking the recruits was for someone to get into a drawer and pretend to be the cadaver, come to life during the drill and hilarity should ensue.

Anyway. Somehow, someone got wise to this and pulled a double blind.

Before the prankster (let's call him prankster 'A') got into the mortuary drawer, another prankster (prankster 'B') got into the adjacent drawer 10 minutes beforehand.

Prankster A gets into the drawer and 5 minutes later is cold and shivering.

He mutters to himself under his breath 'Fuck it's cold in here'.

At which point Prankster 'B' replies 'You get used to it after a while'.

The screams were audible from some distance away...

[phildeez]

Originally posted by thump
Not an LEO prank, but in the same general vein...


For reasons that to this day have never became entirely clear to me, part of training involved moving a cadaver from slab 'a' to slab 'b' in the mortuary.

Not far, just a few yards.

Anyway, the standing joke for spooking the recruits was for someone to get into a drawer and pretend to be the cadaver, come to life during the drill and hilarity should ensue.

Anyway. Somehow, someone got wise to this and bulled a double blind.

Before the prankster (let's call him prankster 'A') got into the mortuary drawer, another prankster (prankster 'B') got into the adjacent drawer 10 minutes beforehand.

Prankster A gets into the drawer and 5 minutes later is cold and shivering.

He mutters to himself under his breath 'Fuck it's cold in here'.

At which point Prankster 'B' replies 'You get used to it after a while'.

The screams were audible from some distance away...

awesome:laughing

[scrubbed flat]

fookin hilarious

[Dragon]

Ya gotta have fun at work!

In the days before 'photochop' I was real handy with the copy machine.

Officer X made a good stop and the press called. The Chief was quoted as saying in the newspaper "If we only had more Officers like Officer X..."

The next day, mind you at a small agency, where behind the counter was a picture of every cop in town... all of the pictures had been changed to pictures of Officer X... the Chief walks in and says "WHAT IS THIS CRAP!"

She goes to her desk- and the picture of her and her hubby- well it was Officer X's head over her husband's face.

With a copy of the newspaper clipping and the quote high-lighted:
A note: Chief we are ALL gonna try :teeth

The joys of dogwatch!

[ladyRR]

Some of these I was around for, most I wasn't......

1) we had one guy put a goat in our sgt's car.

2) we had one guy get a duck from the lake and put a sgt's name on a piece of cardboard around his neck and let the duck run around the dept.

3) we had a couple guys take a motor cops bike to the third floor of the dept and leave it there.

4) we had one cso who wouldn't let anyone use her chair and would leave nasty notes in the office, so the traffic guys chained it to someone else's desk.

4) we had one email crazy copper who would email wierd things to us, so one of the guys chained his keyboard to his computer.

5) we had one guy who was new to the shift who complained about his desk and where it was, so the next day he came in and it was on the balcony.

6) before you could tell who's radio was who's, one copper went to the train station, waited for the train to go by....he motioned for the train to honk and he keyed his mic....right in the dispatchers ear....they didnt like the dispatchers back then.

Its not as fun anymore with all the laws...you gotta be real careful with pratical jokes now-a-days.

jessica

[silversvs]

A few gags we pull on the new boots:

We have a large pond in town inhabited by a variety of ducks. Somewhere during the training phase the new guy has to go out and count the ducks and be sure to get a count for each variety of duck. Typically the whole watch is hiding on the nearby golf course busting a gut as the kid chases the ducks around asking his FTO whether its a mallard or some other variety.

One kid was a little on the arrogant side. Someone brought in an ohm meter. His FTO handed him the meter and told hin it was his turn to get readings from all the high voltage towers on their beat. We all about died as he walked up to each tower, meter in hand, trying to get a reading.

I was training one kid and we were walking into briefing. The tones go off for a 5150 threatening suicide and armed with a gun. We run out of briefing so he can try to get primary on the call. By the time we get there other officers had already arrived and resolved the call. While we are walking up to the house I notice that the kid has no gun in his holster. So I tell him since the other guys have the call, we should go back to the car. I tell him that I want him to drive around the block and show me how he is going to approach the house again. As he pulls up I yell at him, "Ok the guy was outside hes armed and I've been shot." I ask him what he's going to do. He says he would return fire. I ask him to show me how. He points his finger at the house. I tell him to really show me. He reaches down and realizes he didn't have his gun. I've never seen someone's face get so red. I did all I could to look mad, but I couldn't help laughing. Needless to say he got a "1" for officer safety that day.

[Dragon]

Originally posted by silversvs
A few gags we pull on the new boots:

We have a large pond in town inhabited by a variety of ducks. Somewhere during the training phase the new guy has to go out and count the ducks and be sure to get a count for each variety of duck. Typically the whole watch is hiding on the nearby golf course busting a gut as the kid chases the ducks around asking his FTO whether its a mallard or some other variety.

One kid was a little on the arrogant side. Someone brought in an ohm meter. His FTO handed him the meter and told hin it was his turn to get readings from all the high voltage towers on their beat. We all about died as he walked up to each tower, meter in hand, trying to get a reading.

I was training one kid and we were walking into briefing. The tones go off for a 5150 threatening suicide and armed with a gun. We run out of briefing so he can try to get primary on the call. By the time we get there other officers had already arrived and resolved the call. While we are walking up to the house I notice that the kid has no gun in his holster. So I tell him since the other guys have the call, we should go back to the car. I tell him that I want him to drive around the block and show me how he is going to approach the house again. As he pulls up I yell at him, "Ok the guy was outside hes armed and I've been shot." I ask him what he's going to do. He says he would return fire. I ask him to show me how. He points his finger at the house. I tell him to really show me. He reaches down and realizes he didn't have his gun. I've never seen someone's face get so red. I did all I could to look mad, but I couldn't help laughing. Needless to say he got a "1" for officer safety that day.

OWNED! x100 :laughing

[Tom2]

we had a hide out spot... sometimes up to ten units side by side...


two man unit, both sacked out with feet sticking out of window (one in front seat, one in rear).


tied their shoe laces together (both feet out same side windows)....

LOTS O' KNOTS........



then we get called in for 10-10.

[Noid]

Old girlfriend of mine got pulled over by CHP. CHP officer walks up and asks that standard question " do you know why I stopped you?"

She: "Because you were going to ask me to the CHP ball?"

Officer without hesitation: "No, the CHP doesn't have any balls"....
then he realizes what he said. Face got beat read. Handed her information back to her and left before she could even get the car started.

[radvas]

I was wrenching on cars in those days, and a buddy was a cop. Anyhow... the 94-98 crown vics had a fuel inertia (cutoff) switch that was very close to the quarter panel on the driver's side. with a well placed smack in the rear quarter panel, you could instantly shut one of these cars down. so one day, as my buddy was leaving in the cop car, I casually smacked the side of his car a couple of times and said "see ya later."

Of course, the car instantly died and wouldn't restart. He knew I did it, but couldn't figure out how. After a few minutes, I showed him the trick (and how to reset it) and he was like a kid in a candy store after that. I know he got a lot of mileage out of that trick.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure that ford relocated the fuel cutoff inertia switch in a more protected location on the later models. But if any of ya work in an outfit with some older crown vics still around, it's an easy one to do. Just look inside the trunk for the fuel cutoff reset switch, then smack the outside of the fender right where the switch is. Works every time. Well, it used to anyhow.

[JackTheTripper]

Nowhere as good as the stories above but I was behind two moto cops at a red light once. They were casually chatting it up. When they could tell the light was about to change they get set and start reving like they're gonna drag race. Just before the light changes guy on right reaches over and hit's the kill switch and takes off.

[CHICKenstrip]

Only good one I had involved the hermaphroditic blow-up doll from my funniest call story. My partner and I threw bleach all over it and drug it to a gas station to fill up with air. Then, we put it in the locker of a guy we kept warning about leaving his locker unsecured. Being Graveyard Shift workers, we waited for the guy to come in for day watch, and were standing by with a Poloroid to document the fun. Let's just say that it was a tight fit in the locker, so when he opened the door, it kinda burst out at him and looked...um...happy to see him? Thought the guy was gonna have a stroke! Best part was, even when my partner ratted on me, no one believed him. Wish I still had that picture...

[Dragon]

Originally posted by CHICKenstrip
Only good one I had involved the hermaphroditic blow-up doll from my funniest call story. My partner and I threw bleach all over it and drug it to a gas station to fill up with air. Then, we put it in the locker of a guy we kept warning about leaving his locker unsecured. Being Graveyard Shift workers, we waited for the guy to come in for day watch, and were standing by with a Poloroid to document the fun. Let's just say that it was a tight fit in the locker, so when he opened the door, it kinda burst out at him and looked...um...happy to see him? Thought the guy was gonna have a stroke! Best part was, even when my partner ratted on me, no one believed him. Wish I still had that picture...

Ya shouldda dressed the doll up with the uniform in the locker- and left it in a patrol car with whoevers name tag and badge on for ALL to see :teeth

But hey- that's just me :shhh

[svclee]

Originally posted by Noid
Old girlfriend of mine got pulled over by CHP. CHP officer walks up and asks that standard question " do you know why I stopped you?"

She: "Because you were going to ask me to the CHP ball?"

Officer without hesitation: "No, the CHP doesn't have any balls"....
then he realizes what he said. Face got beat read. Handed her information back to her and left before she could even get the car started.


classic... :laughing :laughing :laughing

[twisted TLR]

Hmmm... (Writing in 3rd person here).

I recall seeing a few fellas receiving fake transfer letters on official letterheads advising them they would be transferred to different assignments throughout the department. Some were pissed, wondering who they had pissed off.. Others thought they had an IA beef coming, and others were just freaking pissed. PERIOD.


more to come...:teeth

[Dragon]

Originally posted by twisted TLR
Hmmm... (Writing in 3rd person here).

I recall seeing a few fellas receiving fake transfer letters on official letterheads advising them they would be transferred to different assignments throughout the department. Some were pissed, wondering who they had pissed off.. Others thought they had an IA beef coming, and others were just freaking pissed. PERIOD.


more to come...:teeth

In third person of course:

The fake sexual harrasment memo against a male SGT making unwanted sexual advances towards a male officer- damn did that get 'blown' outta proportion :laughing

[JimE]

Did some time on ship's in the service and time gets to drag on with so many fellows jammed in. Did you know:
- Seran wrap stretched tightly over a toilet seat is almost invisible?
- In a rolling sea where the ship is heeling over well a little vaseline on a toilet seat can cause quite a ruckus.
- Switching water lines on house plumbing can be fun!
- Sending the new guy back for a "bucket of prop wash", "METRIC crescent wrench" or "left handed smoke shifter" can spice up the day.
- Last but not least: if you're too drunk to take care of yourself when you get back from shore then you probably deserve to have your eyebrows shaved off.

So much more..... switched lockers, bunks moved, stripper on floors during a storm, etc, etc.. Ask a sailor sometime about practical jokes they pulled at sea.

[Dragon]

I really hope I didn't give anybody any bad ideas here :laughing :devil