View Full Version : Newbs: Useful terms and excuses to justify your crash
Eisernkreuz
11-27-2006, 12:55 PM
Over the years, BARF has seen a lot of really good excuses for crashing. Here's a short list, and hopefully you guys will add more:
-My tires were cold
-There was black ice in a shadow of a tree
-My contact lens moved
-I hit a rock
-My front/rear tire was old
-Michelins are slippy, I'm getting a Pirelli next
-My bike couldn't lean enough; corollary: I think I need a liter next
-Somehow I locked my rear
-Ground was wet
-I had a tinted visor on and didn't see the large metal plate :loser
-I brought the wheelie down crooked
-It just started tankslapping, all on its own
:teeth :twofinger
paroxysm
11-27-2006, 01:00 PM
cp -d \n | tehR0x.txt
Holeshot
11-27-2006, 01:06 PM
I've used the following:
-Michelins
-Pirellis
-Lapper pushed me into dirt
-XXX rolled in on me
-Lost focus
Man, I've used ALOT of excuses up already!
My excuse: tar snakes... slippery when wet!
Main reason for crash: I was not paying attention, I was checking out the scenery and not the road. Since I wasn't paying attention, the slide caught me by surprise and I probably did a ton of other stupid things that I shouldn't have, like grabbing the front brakes, etc.
Climber
11-27-2006, 03:16 PM
Originally posted by Eisernkreuz
Over the years, BARF has seen a lot of really good excuses for crashing. Here's a short list, and hopefully you guys will add more:
-My tires were cold
-There was black ice in a shadow of a tree
-My contact lens moved
-I hit a rock
-My front/rear tire was old
-Michelins are slippy, I'm getting a Pirelli next
-My bike couldn't lean enough; corollary: I think I need a liter next
-Somehow I locked my rear
-Ground was wet
-I had a tinted visor on and didn't see the large metal plate :loser
-I brought the wheelie down crooked
-It just started tankslapping, all on its own
:teeth :twofinger
You forgot to add:
-I thought I was ready for a big bike because between my 3 months riding experience and my (more than a) year on BARF I had almost 1-1/2 years of experience! :p
Corey11c
11-27-2006, 03:37 PM
You forgot the number 1 excuse....
My throttle stuck open!!!
Eisernkreuz
11-27-2006, 03:38 PM
Originally posted by Climber
You forgot to add:
-I thought I was ready for a big bike because between my 3 months riding experience and my (more than a) year on BARF I had almost 1-1/2 years of experience! :p
The excuse with the :loser next to it was regarding my crash a year and a quarter ago ;) Don't think I forgot to spread the love EVERYWHERE. I'm like Fox News, Fair and Balanced
plumber
11-27-2006, 03:41 PM
Let's see.....I've used
Kick starters will bust through the case and dump oil on rear.
That car came out of nowhere.
Front brake lever set with no slack and locked front wheel. (Cable to MC)
Unknown road with unknown 180 that I thought was about 95 d.
Didn't see the cable across driveway....(tinted visor and sunglasses)
and latest was.........Why in the hell did Bambi do that?
It really doesn't matter whose fault it is unless the judge is determining damages.......
VTRweasel
11-27-2006, 03:49 PM
my favorite has always been...
"I went in too hot and had to throw it away"
slydrite
11-27-2006, 04:42 PM
blue tires caused me to crash....
also, I had to lay it down to avoid crashing.....
Hoologan
11-27-2006, 04:48 PM
Well, I see the "flame free" Crash Analysis forum is off to a good start, as predicted.
ryong
11-27-2006, 05:08 PM
Originally posted by slydrite
blue tires caused me to crash....
also, I had to lay it down to avoid crashing.....
is this not normal...........
954Rider
11-27-2006, 05:23 PM
It is perfectly normal to jump off the bike the moment you get scared..... :laughing
wazzuFreddo
11-27-2006, 05:36 PM
Originally posted by Eisernkreuz
I'm like Fox News, Fair and Balanced
So much irony in that statement, it could choke a small pony :twofinger
}Dragon{
11-27-2006, 07:30 PM
Originally posted by 1FastF4i
Well, I see the "flame free" Crash Analysis forum is off to a good start, as predicted.
:laughing
Please don't forget:
Someone put armor-all on my tires and/or seat.
greggargubby
11-27-2006, 11:18 PM
in case you haven't noticed, none of you are helping. but, carry on, if that makes you feel better.
Holeshot
11-27-2006, 11:28 PM
Yeah, it'd be nice if the unrelevant material could be saved for other forums. Alot gets lost in crap like that. That work guys?
07chuck
11-28-2006, 05:14 PM
Train tracks.
Mondo
11-28-2006, 05:23 PM
My all time favorite excuse
"I ran outta talent"
}Dragon{
11-28-2006, 05:43 PM
Originally posted by greggargubby
in case you haven't noticed, none of you are helping. but, carry on, if that makes you feel better.
Greg- people use lame excuses for stupid stuff everyday. I think the thread goes to point out "don't use a lame excuse when you should be learning something";)
I'd venture to say that the majority of accidents could be prevented by tightening the loose nut behind the handlebars before one goes out on a ride.
Eisernkreuz
11-28-2006, 06:39 PM
Yeah, what the fuck ever, I crashed because of stupid physics :mad
Enchanter
11-28-2006, 07:26 PM
Originally posted by }Dragon{
Greg- people use lame excuses for stupid stuff everyday. I think the thread goes to point out "don't use a lame excuse when you should be learning something";)
I'd venture to say that the majority of accidents could be prevented by tightening the loose nut behind the handlebars before one goes out on a ride.
In the interest of letting some humor into the initial days of the Crash Analysis forum, this thread will be allowed to continue for a limited amount of time. Eventually, it will be locked.
07chuck
11-28-2006, 07:40 PM
Originally posted by Enchanter
In the interest of letting some humor into the initial days of the Crash Analysis forum, this thread will be allowed to continue for a limited amount of time. Eventually, it will be locked. I crashed because this thread got locked and I couldn't see.
greggargubby
11-28-2006, 07:46 PM
Originally posted by 07chuck
I crashed because this thread got locked and I couldn't see.
still not much help, but hilarious.
RhythmRider
11-29-2006, 01:15 AM
That chesty blonde waving from the side of the road distracted me.
in order
didn't know that was a decreasing radius, so i leaned over till it lowsided. my fault
didn't know there was even a turn, so i motocrossed my fzr between 2 trees and into some soft dirt. my fault
onramp was completely covered in deisel. not my fault
Rider went down so I made a u-turn to go see what happened and slipped on the same spot. There was oil in the road. not my fault
According to BARF it's my fault every time
}Dragon{
11-29-2006, 06:28 PM
Originally posted by Enchanter
In the interest of letting some humor into the initial days of the Crash Analysis forum, this thread will be allowed to continue for a limited amount of time. Eventually, it will be locked.
OK serious question for ya:
Is there any stats/data on incidents on what percentages are rider error as opposed to actually mechanical failure or true accidents?
Eisernkreuz
11-29-2006, 07:21 PM
The Hurt Report said that something like 3% of all motorcycle accidents were mechanical failures, that's counting tire blowouts. Insignificant number.
In other news, I crashed because the BMW I was riding had horrible feedback due to the paralever/telelever suspensions.
plumber
11-29-2006, 07:30 PM
Originally posted by greggargubby
in case you haven't noticed, none of you are helping. but, carry on, if that makes you feel better.
What are you complaining about? You asked for assorted lame excuses and you got a bunch of assorted lame excuses. If you wanted empirical evidence to justify crash results you should have asked for empirical evidence to justify crash results. Your original question has been answered in kind.
greggargubby
11-29-2006, 08:04 PM
Originally posted by plumber
What are you complaining about? You asked for assorted lame excuses and you got a bunch of assorted lame excuses. If you wanted empirical evidence to justify crash results you should have asked for empirical evidence to justify crash results. Your original question has been answered in kind.
i asked for assorted lame excuses? i don't recall asking for assorted lame excuses. but maybe i'm just forgetful; my apologies for complaining.
rumpofsteelskin
11-29-2006, 08:35 PM
I got distracted by the interesting appearance of my own shadow on the road. When I crashed, I was trying to make a bunny rabbit shape with my hands.
paladinnorcal
11-29-2006, 09:12 PM
I crashed because I thought a teenage driver saw me because she was looking right at me....I think...maybe she was looking at the car behind me....or the sunset...I forget..I bumped my head.
Like aviation, over 95% of the time it's pilot error.
}Dragon{
11-30-2006, 12:43 AM
Originally posted by Vne
Like aviation, over 95% of the time it's pilot error.
Yeah, I'm gonna derail the thread- sorry Tim.
VNE you hit the nail on the head.
99% of all equipment issues on a bike can be handled by a GOOD pre-ride check... just like any pilot checks out their aircraft.
My father who is a pilot always said after a crash "Some folks shouldda just bought a boat." My version : Some people should have bought a jet-ski :teeth
The more hazards you can eliminate before a ride- the better. I am far from being a mechanic but I sure as hell know when something isn't working right and call a professional if I can't resolve it. The other thing is to know enough when to call it a day. Tires worn out? Go get them changed instead of going out for a ride.
T-1 Thunder
12-17-2006, 10:14 AM
"Because I'm a rookie. My balls got too big and I fucked up!"
98TLRider
12-17-2006, 04:09 PM
"My skills had outgrown my bike. I obviously would have made the corner had I been riding a GSXR."
Enchanter
12-17-2006, 04:26 PM
Originally posted by }Dragon{
Yeah, I'm gonna derail the thread- sorry Tim.
VNE you hit the nail on the head.
99% of all equipment issues on a bike can be handled by a GOOD pre-ride check... just like any pilot checks out their aircraft.
My father who is a pilot always said after a crash "Some folks shouldda just bought a boat." My version : Some people should have bought a jet-ski :teeth
The more hazards you can eliminate before a ride- the better. I am far from being a mechanic but I sure as hell know when something isn't working right and call a professional if I can't resolve it. The other thing is to know enough when to call it a day. Tires worn out? Go get them changed instead of going out for a ride.
I'm with you, but I'm going to take it a step farther. While I agree that a rider should 'pre-flight' their bike before each ride, I'm going to take it a step farther and say that they need to 'pre-fight' themselves. Have a plan on where you are going. Have a predetermined plan on what to do when your personal cues are triggered to tell you that you are riding over your head. Then have a plan on what to do (slow down/take a break/let the faster rider go ahead/etc).
m_asim
12-18-2006, 01:04 PM
Where is the "I don't know what happened"?
Critter
01-05-2007, 11:47 PM
LMAO I sent this thread to a friend who binned two brand spankin new ZX-10s in the span of 3 months....
He's not talking to me now? :wtf
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