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Old 09-11-2012, 12:23 PM   #1
DrSwade
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A time for sharing.(Timeshare)

With all of the KS activity about the election, sports and SEAL books, two topics in which I don't have much care or concern for and one of which I just gave up on trying to add any intelligence to, I thought I would write a post that shares my recent occupation and observations.

After living here for about six months, I figured out that doing nothing is hard work. I was getting pretty bored with just going to the beach, the gym and sitting under my rooftop palapa sipping cocktails. I had drinks with some of the guys who have been living here for years and let them recruit me into timeshare sales.
They said I would be perfect for it and with some sales experience in selling health club memberships, I was bound to be successful.

I started around the second week of July. This is the slow season so don't expect too much they said. When I went in on a "slow Sunday" for an interview, champagne corks were flying everywhere as they were selling the shit out of units at the resort!
"Can you start tomorrow?" Hell yes!!!

I got off to a slow start, giving tours and "making friends" in what is called a "liner" position. After my tours, I would hand the guests over to a "closer".
The first problem I saw was that the people that seemed to click the best with my personality always got a closer that was a polar opposite.
The other thing was that I refuse to lie. I don't care to lie to further myself so I sure as hell don't want to lie for someone else.
What I found was that with few exceptions, EVERYONE that sat before me was a stone cold liar!
Their stories and answers would change from minute to minute.
Having a military background, I believe that I have an unusually tuned BS detector. I would just smile and "go with it" in the spirit of making money.
About two weeks in, I had a bit of a quandary. You see, I moved here to get away from California, phony people and the general BS involved with living in the state where a culture of lies was created.
I didn't want to go in every day to sit in a world of BULLSHIT.
My buddies back at my other job in the States coaxed and challenged me to stay with it. They believed I was a natural too. Not sure if that is a compliment.

I spent the next several weeks, changing my approach, talking more, talking less, acting more interested, less interested and so on.
When a sales manager said that I would probably be let go in a couple of weeks, I figured I would make my own destiny and tell them "thanks for the opportunity" and head on home. I prefer to not simply burn bridges, I prefer to blow them to smithereens.
I was already at work, dresses and ready to go so I thought, "what the hell" and took another tour. This would be my last. I approached it with a DILLIGAF attitude.

The guests were some skanky looking bikers from Canada. I mean, nasty.
I soon found out that they do a two month trans-continental bike ride every year and this year they were going to ride down to Cabo. By the time they got to San Jose, they realized that they could chill more if they left the bike in California and flew down.
These turned out to be really cool people. They were interested in my travels up and down the Baja and were looking to do the ride next year.
They ended up buying. Not the cheapest but one of the nice units.
They were so cool, we moved them from their other resort and let them stay at their new home resort for the week for free.
The next day I gave them my Motorcycling through Baja book and some Harley clothes collected by my ex-wife when we had a HD. (She bought that shit everywhere we went and I rarely wore it).

The odd thing about the timeshare industry is that all of the guests are paid to be there. They are offered free swimming with dolphins, fishing, para-sailing and even ca$h.
Most folks come to just listen to the pitch and have no intention of buying.
I know because I did it too.
The funny thing is that timeshares aren't for everybody but for some, they make good sense.
I am well aware of the arguments for and against. I took a tour once just to get a free van rental which saved me about $500.
The grounds, resort and location were amazing! The salesman presented the program very well and I decided it worked for me. That was 12 years ago and I couldn't be more pleased.
This is what I strived for to be as a salesman.
Clearly present and hopefully my honesty would be conveyed to the guests.

Not so.

I went another week without a quality tour. I started to talk very plainly to people in a way that I am sure wouldn't make the management happy. I started to call people out on some things in hopes that they would become "real" during our time together.
One couple owned a vitamin store. His wife was a physician. They told me that they were very interested in what we had to offer and would keep an open mind. They seemed like a nice couple and normally, they probably are.
BS! In the end, they finally admitted to only coming for the free shit.
Since the sales room I was working in doesn't "hammer" people like most timeshare sales rooms, I saw no harm in telling them this:
I asked them to imagine someone coming into their store, them spending over an hour answering questions and explaining products, giving the "customer" free samples and then that person walks out without buying anything. Instead going online to purchase them same products that they had invested time in explaining. Internet shoplifting, I think it is called.
The look on their faces was priceless.

A week after my first sale I sold a nice Armenian family a unit, 3 hours before their flight home. They were disgusted with the place they had stayed all week and despite their having an all inclusive package, they weren't able to "get their feed on" because of a ripping storm that passed through the week before. These guys were HUGE! Dad, mom, sister and brother had the golf cart we were riding in around the property bottoming out everywhere. It was pretty funny.

A week later, I was let go due to the slower season.
I find it funny that I work for a month with no sales, make two in a week and then they shit can me.

One funny thing about timeshare. You can come to work, take a tour and ten start juicing, straight away from 9am! There are so many alcoholics and drug addicts working in these places, I was amazed! There are some salesman that look as if they could stroke out at any moments due to poor health, alcoholism or a combination of both.

If there is no apparent moral or gist to this post, sorry.
If I had to say anything about my experience, it is that timeshare sales is the most unquantifiable thing I have ever been involved in.
There appears to be no set parameters for being successful.
I poked myself in the eye, every day trying to figure out an angle.
Couldn't do it. The experience did decrease my faith in humanity, not knowing that was possible.

I have never really failed to be successful on some level at anything I have ever tried. This is a first for me.
I will likely try again at a different resort once the high season picks back up. There is just too much money to be made.
I watched a guy work with a couple for 3 hours and finally selling them two months in a fractional ownership, luxury home, that hasn't even been built yet.
This is not some Amway, "I made $20k this month!" BS.
That dude pulled down around $25k for that one sale. He also sold a timeshare that same day that netted him over $2k.

If you find yourself in a timeshare presentation, enjoy the breakfast, the free stuff and listen to what the salesman says. Learn something from the experience and if it makes sense to you, don't be afraid to pull the trigger.
Please remember that the salesman or woman feeds their family (and/or drug habit) with people buying their product.
If you just do the tours to fuck with people, well, karma is a motherfucker.
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Old 09-11-2012, 12:32 PM   #2
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I got a timeshare on Maui and I love it.

(It's managed through a property company, so I get to use it in various other locations around the world ~ this year instead of going to Hawaii/overseas (I am trying to save for a wedding), I chose to go to Sedona and had a wonderful time.)
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:07 PM   #3
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:16 PM   #4
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Sat through a pitch once. Entire thing seemed like a massive scam.
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lying on the stones on the shore. in the dark. muscles torn. bones broken. heart aching. waiting for the tide to rise and take you into sweet oblivion. and then dawn breaks. and the glow flows over you. and you open a swollen eye, and cry at the beauty of the sun on the horizon. and think maybe...maybe you can pull yourself up - and make it one more day. maybe. one more day. and you rise.
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:16 PM   #5
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Fuck that's a long post
Let me summarize...

I joined forces with a group of dirtbags, but I was a bit less of a dirtbag than the others. So, screw those guys, I'll join a different group of dirbags later and make a killing.
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:38 PM   #6
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:46 PM   #7
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Sat through a pitch once. Entire thing seemed like a massive scam.
Lose weight now, ask me how!
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:01 PM   #8
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Let me summarize...

I joined forces with a group of dirtbags, but I was a bit less of a dirtbag than the others. So, screw those guys, I'll join a different group of dirbags later and make a killing.
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:09 PM   #9
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:32 PM   #10
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Here is the other side of the coin. I went to Cabo for a vacation a couple of years ago.

"Sir, would you come to our presentation, we give you free thing?"

"No thanks"

"Sir, would you come to......"

Everywhere we turned, some jackass was hounding us to attend their presentation. At our hotel, at breakfast, lunch, dinner, during sex, everywhere. So we said sure to one guy. We'd love half off our rental car. And quite frankly, fuck the people trying to sell us a timeshare. We've been trying to relaxe all week and everytime I think I'm about to score a great bag of weed, dude pulls out a fucking baggie full of timeshares.

If you want people to respect you as a timeshare salesman, then you and the industry need to change the entire way you go about doing business. Let me give you an example:

You walk into a vitamin store. No, better yet, you are walking down the street and a vitamin store is across the street, upstairs, hidden from view behind a lovely looking asain massage parlor. Hot chick comes running out "I rub you wrong time? You want flee bleakfast?" Before you can get your dick out of your pants, you are surrounded by muscley dudes hawking a bunch of vitamins. Oh sure, they are really nice vitamins and worth every penny. But you have to buy an entire life supply of them and they won't hand you some info and let you decide. No, instead dude's are flexing all around you

"Look at my cock. Have you ever seen such a cock?"

Are you really wanting buy from this guy?

1. You weren't looking for a vitamin to begin with.
2. You were folloed into a hardon thinking it was for a "massage"
3. Now that you got a big old woody, some dude is showing you his cock and telling you to buy it.
4. You somehow feel obligated.....
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Old 09-11-2012, 04:06 PM   #11
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Hot chick comes running out "I rub you wrong time? You want flee bleakfast?" Before you can get your dick out of your pants, you are surrounded by muscley dudes hawking a bunch of vitamins. Oh sure, they are really nice vitamins and worth every penny. But you have to buy an entire life supply of them and they won't hand you some info and let you decide. No, instead dude's are flexing all around you

"Look at my cock. Have you ever seen such a cock?"

Are you really wanting buy from this guy?

1. You weren't looking for a vitamin to begin with.
2. You were folloed into a hardon thinking it was for a "massage"
3. Now that you got a big old woody, some dude is showing you his cock and telling you to buy it.
4. You somehow feel obligated.....
You sure think about dicks a lot!

Last edited by Poxy; 09-11-2012 at 04:10 PM..
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Old 09-11-2012, 04:18 PM   #12
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Old 09-11-2012, 04:21 PM   #13
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You sure think about dicks a lot!
Just trying to give him an idea of how it felt when I sat through one of those presentation.

Oh, and eat a dick.
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Old 09-11-2012, 04:24 PM   #14
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You sure think about dicks a lot!
guess what the name of his band is
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Old 09-11-2012, 05:34 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Yakoo752 View Post
I got a timeshare on Maui and I love it.

(It's managed through a property company, so I get to use it in various other locations around the world ~ this year instead of going to Hawaii/overseas (I am trying to save for a wedding), I chose to go to Sedona and had a wonderful time.)
ditto (Interval International ) We use our home one every ten years or so, and exchange it for other places every year.

Karin taught me something cool one time. You can always walk into a timeshare place and stay the night, buying unused time for usually a fraction of a Hotel. We did this at my sons graduation from Army boot in Georgia and got a 3 bedroom place right on the beach in Tybee Island for $65/night. The Motel 6 there was $130

Funny story too DrSwade Back to drinking under the palapa for now I suppose
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