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21st Century Manners

V

vato_loco

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Joined
Jul 31, 2005
Location
Frisco
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Bianchi
Name
Paweł
The other night my girlfriend had some people over for dinner. One of the guests was Eric, thirty-ish, employed by Google, obviously intelligent & smart. He was pro-social and had interesting things to say. In other words, someone you wouldn't hesitate to invite to dinner.

But throughout the evening he kept checking his iPhone while at the dinner table. Maybe he was receiving important communiques from Google HQ or tweeting friends about his weekend, I don't know.

My girlfriend wanted to strangle him. She's from Poland, where hospitality & manners are still important. But everyone else -- hipsters, techies -- had no issues with Eric's conduct.

Are these acceptable manners nowadays?

Personally, I wanted to don an a old pair of Ben Davis and kick the little fucker's ass, Ess-Eff style! :toothless
 
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Invite him again, but make a good natured joke about no phones at the table, he'll get the hint.
If he doesn't take the hint, snatch his phone and drop it in the gravy.
 
i'd call that bad manners. but i really, really hate cell phones so i'm biased
 
When I need to use my phone I always apologize and state why I have to answer the goddamn thing.
 
Phone checkers drive me nuts. It's horrible manners and tells everyone they're with that they're less important than whatever is on their phone. I don't invite people like that back and I don't respect business people who do that constantly during meetings either.
 
Archimedes said:
Phone checkers drive me nuts. It's horrible manners and tells everyone they're with that they're less important than whatever is on their phone. I don't invite people like that back and I don't respect business people who do that constantly during meetings either.
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Agreed, especially with bolded part, but not enough of a peeve for me to disassociate with someone.

I have noticed that one easy way to show someone how important they are to you (or at least a good way to pretend you care) is the converse of OP's situation; ignore your ringing/notifying phone, and the person you are with gets the feeling that they are the most important thing going on for you at that point in time.
 
jdhu said:
Agreed, especially with bolded part, but not enough of a peeve for me to disassociate with someone.

I have noticed that one easy way to show someone how important they are to you (or at least a good way to pretend you care) is the converse of OP's situation; ignore your ringing/notifying phone, and the person you are with gets the feeling that they are the most important thing going on for you at that point in time.
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A long time friend of mine does this, gets on the phone at meals, events etc. He has mostly stopped doing it after I've left him, sometimes without a ride. He does get butt hurt about it. My take is, if I am out doing something, and my friend is on the phone, I should have gone by myself in the first place.
 
Meter Man said:
A long time friend of mine does this, gets on the phone at meals, events etc. He has mostly stopped doing it after I have left him, sometimes without a ride. He does get but hurt about it. My take is, if I am out doing something, and my friend is on the phone, I should have gone by myself in the first place.
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I agree IF he is on the phone all night. But a few minutes here and there, not a big deal to me. At a dinner party like OP's situation, it's a bit ruder (versus out at a bar, etc).
 
You are at dinner with me. If you want to be elsewhere, then be elsewhere. put the fucking phone down.

/rant
 
I was thinking about this at the hockey game last night. They do the camera shots of people in the crowd and they are all deep into their phones. Or the guy in front of me that was texting the whole game.

You people payed how much for NHL tickets and you are on your phones the whole time? :wtf

Definitely a different generation.
 
jdhu said:
I agree IF he is on the phone all night. But a few minutes here and there, not a big deal to me. At a dinner party like OP's situation, it's a bit ruder (versus out at a bar, etc).
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He is texting or talking all the time. The only time he doesn't do this is during an attempt to get laid.:|
 
I think a lot of people do this because they are socially awkward and they're using their iSidekick as a crutch.

Doesn't sound like it in your particular case, though, he just sounds like a techy-twat.
 
It is very rude. When I'm out on a date, I turn the ringer off, and don't ever check the phone. It can wait until I'm done.
Had he done that at my dinner party, I would have asked if he would like to use the bedroom to conduct his business. Generally, calling attention to someone's bad manners is enough for them to stop. If not, I would ignore it, and then at a later time, take them aside, and let them know their behavior really bothered me, and made me feel like my guests, my dinner party, and myself weren't as important as his cell phone. If he apologized, and appeared to actually feel bad about it, then great. If he thought it was no big deal, I wouldn't invite him back.

What it comes down to is this. He's your friend, he did something that really upset your girlfriend, you should let him know. If he truly values you and your friendship, he'll modify his behavior. If he doesn't, he won't. And that speaks volumes about how he views you. :2cents
 
Meter Man said:
A long time friend of mine does this, gets on the phone at meals, events etc. He has mostly stopped doing it after I've left him, sometimes without a ride. He does get butt hurt about it. My take is, if I am out doing something, and my friend is on the phone, I should have gone by myself in the first place.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't be doing anything with that friend, unless they clearly understood the phone got turned off. I swear, I just don't understand how someone can be that deliberately rude... particularly when their friend has told them that behavior bothers them so much! :wtf
 
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