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A Man's Guide to COUGARS

SVsick50

Deep in the Heart of Texas
Joined
Feb 27, 2003
Location
Buda, TX
Moto(s)
1986 Honda VFR750, 2006 Suzuki Blvd. C90T
Name
Dion
Cougars
From: AskMen.com

Older, single women have been dubbed "cougars" for a reason: they're felines (females) who hunt younger men. As such, cougars are an interesting and unusual breed of women. They seem to want what men want: sex with no strings attached.

In that respect, they seem almost like the female counterpart of The Player: The Playerette. However, the cougar and the playerette have some key differences.

Read on to learn these differences and get some tips to help you make the most of these great creatures.


Types of Cougars

First off, we must understand that there are certain types of cougars.

Cougar Type 1 - The type of cougar that hooks up with young athletic-types (think Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham). She may settle for a less physical, more suave catch, but the point is, she thinks like a man in that she's looking for the hottest-looking guy she can get -- the female equivalent of a guy meeting the Swedish bikini team.

Cougar Type 2- The confused cougar that looks for easy sex, but really seeks a relationship man. She'll tart herself up and come on strong, but right around the time things start to get intimate -- either shortly before or after you know her in the biblical sense -- she reveals herself to be a seeker.

Tread carefully and don't get caught with type No. 2.

How to spot a Cougar

Appearance
She dresses quite suggestively, often younger than her age -- she wants desperately not to look middle-aged.
Her clothes will generally be tight or low-cut -- anything to make a guy notice her. From afar she might look like a young hottie, which gets guys to approach. Get close, see the wrinkles and makeup, and her true age becomes apparent -- but by that time she's already being flirtatious and has lured you into her lair.
She'll often be a smoker (cigarettes are a sexy prop, and "got a light?" is a good approach) who dies her hair (blonde is most popular) and dolls herself up (seems to be sponsored by Revlon).
They often hang out in groups, acting as wingwomen for each other. On the other hand, given their considerable experience and resulting confidence, they will not wait for their friends to hit the bars. Logistically, it's easier for an easily picked-up woman to fly solo.

Note from XRsick50: Become the hunted.
 
:teeth

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XRsick50 said:
Cougars
From: AskMen.com

Older, single women have been dubbed "cougars" for a reason: they're felines (females) who hunt younger men. As such, cougars are an interesting and unusual breed of women. They seem to want what men want: sex with no strings attached.

In that respect, they seem almost like the female counterpart of The Player: The Playerette. However, the cougar and the playerette have some key differences.

Read on to learn these differences and get some tips to help you make the most of these great creatures.


I think I need to see the description of the Playerette before reaching any conclusions, Dion. :p
 
Ultimate Cougar story

I have a friend who is a cougar hunter. Gross!!!:barf Marin County is full of cougars. I have the best cougar story evaaarrr!

Cliff Notes
________________
-24 yr. old buddy vs. 62 yr. old Cadillac Cougar
-Bar in Tiburon(rich ass area) Saturday Night
-Cougar approaches our group of 6 guys in drunken stupor
-Flirts with one member of the group (cougar hunter)
-Friends try to give him an out
-Not hearing that
-Cougar whispering nastiness in his ear
-Cougar thinking they have met before, addressing him as "John."
-Cougar swearing (with groggy slur) at us for laughing hysterically
-Cougar leaving purse by our (not so morally inclined) friend, Cougar pays for a round of drinks unknowingly
-Cougar takes friend to large house in hills
-Cougar falling down in the middle of strip show :laughing
-Cougar using lotion to Rub him down (ahem)
-Cougar injests a lot of lotion (you guess how) and various other substances (GROSS)
-Friend tries to escape but is mauled by Cougar at front door
-Friend escapes relatively unharmed, and quite pleased with himself
-We make him take the walk of shame back to bar
 
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thanks Sick, that's good to know.

it sucks that middle aged wimmenz looking to score are called cougars but when men get up there in age, they're dirty old men. .
 
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AbeezieSoNeezie said:
thanks Sick, that's good to know.

it sucks that middle aged wimmenz looking to score are called cougars but when men get up there in agem, they're dirty old men. .

Yeah, but if the man has a lot of money, he's "stoic" or "aged". If he's broke... then he's a dirty old man.

Med23: Best story EVAR!!! But 62 yrs. old? :bigbarf
 
Man- I movved to Tiburon last month and have been dodging cougars left and right at Sam's on Sat nites. They don't even care that my GF is there!

They get especially crazy when michael jackson gets pumped up- which is often.

Were it not for the fact that that's the onyl bar in drunk ass crawling distance to me that doesn't close at 9Pm, i'd go elsewhere. It's just too fukn disturbing.

Plus, I wonder if cougars mark their territory, since a lot of those people seem to be regulars.


I can almost see some of those cougars thinkin-
Yep yep yep... I keep gettin older, but the boys stay the same age. Well alright....


:shudder:

-s1ck
 
XRsick50 said:
Yeah, but if the man has a lot of money, he's "stoic" or "aged". If he's broke... then he's a dirty old man.

right, or sugardaddies. . .

Med23: Best story EVAR!!! But 62 yrs. old? :bigbarf

62? isn't that beyond Cougar status!?!?! that's just flat wrong. .
 
s1ckR6 said:
Man- I movved to Tiburon last month and have been dodging cougars left and right at Sam's on Sat nites. They don't even care that my GF is there!

-s1ck


Sam's is EXACTLY the bar that it occured!!! :laughing

Sam's could be a average place to hunt for the occassional hotty on Saturday nights because of the nearby wedding locations. Horny Bridesmades are definately on the menu there....well at least before they leave for a better bar:laughing
 
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Of course it is...

don't they have a sign aboe the door that says home of the original cougar or some shit?


j/k

-s1ck

Med23 said:
Sam's is EXACTLY the bar that it occured!!! :laughing
 
AbeezieSoNeezie said:
62? isn't that beyond Cougar status!?!?! that's just flat wrong. .

That is why she is a "Cadillac Cougar" (richer, older cougars)...and more disgusting than usual.

He took one for the team.:laughing :green :barf
 
62 is not a cougar.



62 is a Galapagos Turtle.
 
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