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Coping Skills

Rumination is something I have to fight regularly. Last Saturday we met some friends we hadn't seen in quite a while and I gave them a 30,000 foot overview of what our lives have been like the last several years.
Didn't mention my son's divorce last year, or my daughter's failure to launch at age 23 due to mild autism and ADHD, or the increasing care my in laws are needing as they age, or my dreams of retiring 6 years ago going "poof".

All week I've been ruminating on what I wished I'd said.
But telling them all this wouldn't have changed anything. Maybe I would have gotten some sympathetic words or a "look on the bright side" comment. Then the conversation would have moved on.
Still, I'm in this loop and it brings me down.
I have plenty of good stuff going on in my life, so why do I stay stuck on the bad stuff?
Wallowing in it feels familiar and comfortable in a weird way.
 
I prefer a bar mount. It makes operating the light soooo much easier. And even though my light is super bright, there is no glare.
 
My suggestion of buying a motorcycle is only half in jest.

I think what I truly meant was pursue a passion.

As far as controlling my emotions, there is a local 3 Mile hiking path that I have frequented since childhood, The walk, and then the stretch is an essential part of a glue that holds my life together

Edit: And, of course, NOTHING beats a dance party in your living room with The Dead ! DANCE :banana : hippie
 
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We did the railbikes a couple of months ago. Nice, open air and fun. Also near by.

www.riverfoxtrain.com

Railbikes through the Countryside

Glide along the river on Railbikes Through the Countryside, a pedal-powered ride past Yolo County farmland just minutes from downtown Sacramento.
www.riverfoxtrain.com www.riverfoxtrain.com
 
Struggling tonight as well

Hit the proverbial wall of patience and still no clear end to my day. Kids are punchy and not responding to anything and no easy way to direct they energy to anything productive. My knee is killing me and I can't get comfortable for longer than 5 minutes without having to respond to tears or screams.

All of my usual methods have failed so I'm just kind of grinding my teeth and hanging on at this point.

#SAHDlife
 
I try to abuse them slightly less than I was abused as a child.
 
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time tonight, koi. Er, uh, I mean Vito! That sounds like a nightmare. I don’t have kids so I’ve got nothing helpful for you on that front, I’m afraid. Hopefully you’ll be able to look back on these early days fondly, as I’ve heard they pass quickly
 
In our daycare my wife plays Danny Go YouTube videos.
The kids love that channel.
Another good one that holds their attention is Dbillions on YouTube.
That channel stops the kids dead in their tracks.
 
Koi, our son is 35 now, time passes so quickly; it is not funny but truly scary. Tough times were had with him, but we all made it through. In our case (mine, really), not necessarily ideally but we all made it. He is on his own life path now; yours will be someday as well. Hang in there, things will improve. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them.
 
900ss said:
Koi, our son is 35 now; time passes so quickly; it is not funny but truly scary. Tough times were had with him, but we all made it through. In our case (mine, really), not necessarily ideally but we all made it. He is on his own life path now; yours will be someday as well. Hang in there, things will improve. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them.
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I struggle with just trying to survive being the bar to being a good dad. I'm just overwhelmed with twins on a good day and then when I see other parents doing actual things with their kids and more than just keeping them alive, I'm amazed that bar is so low.

WoodsChick said:
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time tonight, koi. Er, uh, I mean Vito! That sounds like a nightmare. I don’t have kids so I’ve got nothing helpful for you on that front, I’m afraid. Hopefully you’ll be able to look back on these early days fondly, as I’ve heard they pass quickly
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The days are long, the years are short.

Some days are really long, and that has nothing to do with my own mental struggles or depression. That's just the effort of keeping a house going with 2 chaos gremlins running around.

Some days I can be truly present with them and engage, and some days it feels like I'm hiding from them as much as possible.
 
planegray said:
My suggestion of buying a motorcycle is only half in jest.

I think what I truly meant was pursue a passion.

As far as controlling my emotions, there is a local 3 Mile hiking path that I have frequented since childhood, The walk, and then the stretch is an essential part of a glue that holds my life together

Edit: And, of course, NOTHING beats a dance party in your living room with The Dead ! DANCE :banana : hippie
Click to expand...
Touch of planegray.
 
In our daycare my wife plays Danny Go YouTube videos.
The kids love that channel.
Another good one that holds their attention is Dbillions on YouTube.
That channel stops the kids dead in their tracks.


 
saw my baby down by the river, knew she had to come up for air.
SHe's got everything delightful.
 
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