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Doom, Gloom and dealing with negativity from non riders

I also usually turn it into whatever the person spouting off about is doing at that moment - 'You like coffee? Yeah last week a guy right there, just to the left out front, died. Apparently the organic bat shit fertilizer they're using in coffeebeanland was something he was allergic to.

From his brains to his bladder all exploded out of his anus right there in front of the whole place. It was a sweetmeat sonata, an orchestra of organs. If you look, you can still see the stains.

You aren't allergic to anything are you?'


Ask their name and then tell them you are going to specifically exclude anyone with their last name on your organ donor card. This isn't China, you can't just buy human organs., and unless you were really quick, they were pretty efficient about getting bat shit fertilizer guy's hunks of humanity out of the trees.
 
tzrider said:
Rodr, one more clarifying question: are you talking about this thread or BARF in general?
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Both. But we've derailed this thing enough, and I've already identified with whom I disagree. I think I even started a thread on this topic a couple (or more) years ago... might be worth yet another separate discussion. Let's let it die here.
 
OP can file an EO complaint for a hostile work environment. :party
 
OP, riding is dangerous as hell. I've done some moto-related time in a hospital bed and on crutches...still, the choice to ride is deeply personal, and connected to your agency and your identity as a free human being, so folks need to step the hell off.

I suspect you are getting some sexism and patronizing (hell, you're even getting a bit in this thread--sorry about that). We also live in a society that has become so risk-averse that parents get arrested for letting their kids go to the park unattended, so that part isn't personal. It's just that folks who participate in high-risk but high-satisfaction activities, like riding, seem a bit alien to regular joes and janes. Some are jealous, some are dumbfounded, some are just mean about it--but everybody's got a damn opinion.

I've gotten worried comments, snide referrals to my "murdercycle," and tales of relatives dead and rivers of gore. Not all the comments I've gotten are hand-wringing or negative, though: I've gotten thumbs-up from old men, stories of the time Uncle Dave rode to Minnesota in '66, camping under bridges with a blanket that was too short, I've gotten grins and questions from little girls, I've even chatted with a fellow adventure rider, recently home from riding South America, as he helped prep me for surgery. Hopefully you'll get more of that connection to balance out the bullshit.

What's worked for me? Well, assuring them helps. If it's someone I care about I detail the risk management steps I take: wearing good gear, getting rider training, avoiding drunk or exhausted riding.

Letting them know that there's something THEY can do to keep riders safe can turn the tables on 'em. Ask the worrier for reassurance that THEY will always watch out for riders, never violate their right of way or change lanes suddenly without signaling. That would make for many fewer gory tales, after all.

I know it's dangerous, I have scars. But oh, every scar has a story, and my life is so much richer for the experiences I've had on the back of a bike. I've come sliding around a corner outside of Gunnison, CO to surprise a herd of elk into full gallop across a meadow. I've seen the sun rise over the desert mountains in Baja as I bounced along. I've crossed the continent, sleeping in a different place every night, watching a thunderstorm at sunset in the Dakota Badlands. I've seen a rainbow arch over the tundra as my tires bit Dalton Highway mud in Alaska, and jumped into the Arctic Ocean when I reached the end.

When I start telling my bike stories like that, people usually back off. Probably I'm just boring 'em to death, but maybe I'm communicating a little of the joy that, for me, makes the risk worthwhile.
 
Heidi, nothing but love, :kiss, :applause, and :hail. Tell it, sister! :thumbup :party
 
bcv_west said:
They're often called 'donor-cycles' in ER and EMS circles, thanks to all the brain dead riders they see. Black humor is all that keeps you sane in those circles, don't read too much into it. At least she didn't lecture you about it, like the ER doc talking to my mid-50s friend in his hospital bed after a SMIDSY took him out, with his wife and daughter present.
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Yeah but would a family "read too much into it" if they said granny was CTD and then laugh and share that it means "circling the drain"

I get black humor

My family gets through hardships with it. But there's appropriate places for it, and to the faces of your patients is not one.
 
My own father had a freak accident with a cow once. So when I decided to buy a bike, you KNOW I got an earful from various family and friends. (he lived and continued to ride.)

But what was funny to me, was that the heavy farming equipment I worked with on a daily basis could jack me up quicker and more severely than anything my bike ever could have done to me.

I got great joy in replying to the random stranger comment by saying, "You're out of your mind! Being on the bike is the safest I've been all day!" :rofl
 
I am always like "NO WAY!!?? These things are dangerous?? Oh shit, maybe I should sell it.....".
 
after half-century of that crap, I just don't want to hear it anymore.

When someone says that; I reply "my Mom died in a plane crash" (true), are you going to stop flying????!?

:x:x:x
 
EastBayDave said:
after half-century of that crap, I just don't want to hear it anymore.

When someone says that; I reply "my Mom died in a plane crash" (true), are you going to stop flying????!?

:x:x:x
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yeah, riding motorcycles is almost as dangerous as flying on an asian (or now german) airline!
 
haters-gonna-hate25.gif
 
tzrider said:
You're making it sound like someone is being sexist here. I've read the posts and am not seeing it. I see one guy who has an abrasive way of taking a contrary position, but even he raises a good point and it had nothing to do with gender.
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Here's something to consider, and again, not calling out individual posters here, just as something to consider:

If you're talking to a girl who's getting flack about riding from people, the right way to respond to that definitely isn't with gendered insults that rely on slamming on those that share a gender with the rider. That just shows that even those who claim to be supportive still won't understand what they're talking about, nor will they really respect her unless she conforms to their view as not being one of those "stuck up women who can't take a joke" - which is again, an inherently exclusionary attitude towards other women. It also puts the total lie in the "tough love" attitude.

The second thing is: The quality of someone's ability to stand up to people being assholes on the internet has absolutely no correlation to their ability to ride a motorcycle safely. Making some sort of false equivalency there is just absurd. For many women, the threat of physical or sexual violence is enough to drive them away out of a space out of a desire to protect themselves - it's fine to make those jokes if you know your audience isn't going to be bothered by that, but make the effort to know your audience up front.

Treating posts without respect to the lived experiences of those reading them can absolutely be a form of sexism. As the OP clearly called out that she's a girl in the OP, not respecting that boundary shows the problems that BARF struggles with when it comes to respecting others.

Some are already learning that lesson, which is great - the growth that BARF has to undergo is it has to decide if it wants to be a welcoming community of adults that respects others with a side of ribbing and jokes among those that are insiders, or if the jokes are more important than being an inclusive community. Having both requires some basic respect and empathy for others - the question is if those making the jokes are going to be mature enough people to take the time to understand their audience before tossing out some worthless throwaway post that actively drives people away from the community.
 
Interesting. I don't think it is necessarily a gender thing when you hear the "oh that's crazy or dangerous" "you will be an organ donor soon enough" etc etc..but I just remembered when I first got my bike 4 years ago. I got my M1 20+ years before when I had a scooter, rode that all over Los Angeles. My dad was actually the influencer there..rode motorcycles..so I followed him into it. I had stopped riding for years and then got into it again and decided to learn to ride a motorcycle (shifting and gears not learned on my old scooter) and then go crazy and start with a GSXR 600. Coincidentally the year before I got back in my younger brother, out of the blue and never before having interest in bikes, gets a Harley.

So of course my father worried more about me on the crazy a$$ sportbike. I think he wanted to come up and help me or something but I told him he should be more worried about his son who rides with a brain bucket, in jeans and tshirt instead of me fully geared up in leathers and full helmet!:laughing

Since then, dad and mom have seen me on the track and worry slightly less!! Though my mom still freaks out when I mention I may ride from SF to L.A. to visit! That's TOO DANGEROUS!! :afm199

I think for the most part, people think I am more "bad ass" than they think it is crazy and dangerous..I always laugh at the "bad ass" comments. :p
 
Maygoddess said:
Though my mom still freaks out when I mention I may ride from SF to L.A. to visit! That's TOO DANGEROUS!! :afm199
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36 years after I started riding, my dad still gets all worried if I mention I'm going to ride all the way down to Monterey to visit. Parents, whaddyagonnado? :laughing
 
As a former Boeing employee, not too soon. :teeth

Sorry for the victims and their families, tho.
 
I get mostly, "You ride? That's bad ass" or similar compliments. The times people express shock or concern or criticism it's usually "aren't you scared?" to which I say "nope - I am never happier than when I'm riding." The conversation usually ends soon after.

OP, you must have a very chill personality cus for sure I'd be knocking some of those people into the ground (verbally of course :angel). If you want, I can show up to your work and we can stage it so I meet that obnoxious coworker of yours. I'll make sure to give them my most honest feedback :)
 
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