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Giving them ammunition

Brokenlink

Brokenlink

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2004
Location
hangtown
Moto(s)
FZ-09

DRZ400SM
Name
Mike
So what have you done that is so incredibly stupid that your significant other just laughs at you and there is nothing you can do about it.

Last week I needed some stuff from the corner store. It's a carniceria about a block and a half away and has decent meats, some veggies and a few random stuff. One thing I wanted was charcoal for the bbq. Not sure if they carried it, and not wanting to carry a ten pound bag home, I drove my truck down the the store. I shopped. I forgot all about the charcoal and as I huffed and puffed up the driveway, making an extra effort to show how winded I was from the walk home, she looks at me and asks

"Where's your truck?"

"Ahhhhhhhhh fuck" I exclaim, realizing I just left it at the store and walked home.

She's been laughing at me for days.

Please share similar stories so I don't feel like a complete twat.
 
Last edited:
In 1992 my wife and I eloped.
We had been living together for nearly 2 years and I'd already proposed and been accepted. We just hadn't announced it or set a date.
Why did we elope?
In Feb of '92 my cousin died of an aneurysm. One morning in July '92 while getting ready for work I bent over to get some socks out of the drawer and when I stood up I blacked out and fell on the floor. I hadn't been binge drinking the night before so it wasn't due to dehydration or hangover. Had never happened before. Totally freaked me out. I was a contract worker at the time and had no insurance. We got married so I could be on my wife's medical plan.

...went to the doctor and found out I had an ear infection.

She brings that up at least 2-3 times a year. And thinks it's just the funniest thing.
 
CocoLoco said:
In 1992 my wife and I eloped.
We had been living together for nearly 2 years and I'd already proposed and been accepted. We just hadn't announced it or set a date.
Why did we elope?
In Feb of '92 my cousin died of an aneurysm. One morning in July '92 while getting ready for work I bent over to get some socks out of the drawer and when I stood up I blacked out and fell on the floor. I hadn't been binge drinking the night before so it wasn't due to dehydration or hangover. Had never happened before. Totally freaked me out. I was a contract worker at the time and had no insurance. We got married so I could be on my wife's medical plan.

...went to the doctor and found out I had an ear infection.

She brings that up at least 2-3 times a year. And thinks it's just the funniest thing.
Click to expand...
:rofl
 
Brokenlink said:
So what have you done that is so incredibly stupid that your significant other just laughs at you and there is nothing you can do about it.

Last week I needed some stuff from the corner store. It's a carniceria about a block and a half away and has decent meats, some veggies and a few random stuff. One thing I wanted was charcoal for the bbq. Not sure if they carried it, and not wanting to carry a ten pound bag home, I drove my truck down the the store. I shopped. I forgot all about the charcoal and as I huffed and puffed up the driveway, making an extra effort to show how winded I was from the walk home, she looks at me and asks

"Where's your truck?"

"Ahhhhhhhhh fuck" I exclaim, realizing I just left it at the store and walked home.

She's been laughing at me for days.

Please share similar stories so I don't feel like a complete twat.
Click to expand...

Sorry, You're a complete twat.... :laughing
 
louemc said:
Sorry, You're a complete twat.... :laughing
Click to expand...

premature, we haven't heard YOUR story yet.... go ahead tell us about how the squirrels caught you peeking while they were mating...or something :x




:twofinger
 
I've got "hand" on mama for a while, she racked up a $400 phone call to someone in Australia last month.... :facepalm
 
I've always had some kinda dyslexic speech impediment when I get rushed or flustered. I'll say something like ; " so Tonny and Jami were ..... " my girl will give me the raised eyebrow and say; " you mean Jonny and Tami " ?

I'll respond; "yeah, that's what I said", which she seems to think is HIlarious :x
 
When I was 24, my girlfriend totally caught me checking out her Mom's ass at a BBQ. She busted me, asking if I liked what I saw. I replied with a grin that I did and I could see where her sister got it from.

Oops.

:laughing
 
i was in a rental car just out of the airport in dublin ireland, driving on the wrong side for the first time, explaining in acute detail to my girlfriend at the time how stupid she was for forgetting to get international coverage on the cell for the month we were on vacation when a fly flew, via the moonroof, right into the back of my throat and instantly triggered the gag reflex mid-sentence and i gacked it off the windshield, onto the dashboard and watched it take off out her window. as she starts into a fit of laughter, i start bellowing incoherent voicings of disgust, grab my iced coffee to wash the germs down and the top pops off and it falls in my lap. then she laughed so hard she literally pissed her pants. we sat on the side of the M1 covered in coffee, piss and tears, laughing uncontrollably for at least 5 minutes.
 
asthmodeus said:
i was in a rental car just out of the airport in dublin ireland, driving on the wrong side for the first time, explaining in acute detail to my girlfriend at the time how stupid she was for forgetting to get international coverage on the cell for the month we were on vacation when a fly flew, via the moonroof, right into the back of my throat and instantly triggered the gag reflex mid-sentence and i gacked it off the windshield, onto the dashboard and watched it take off out her window. as she starts into a fit of laughter, i start bellowing incoherent voicings of disgust, grab my iced coffee to wash the germs down and the top pops off and it falls in my lap. then she laughed so hard she literally pissed her pants. we sat on the side of the M1 covered in coffee, piss and tears, laughing uncontrollably for at least 5 minutes.
Click to expand...

Ok, that just got you removed from my ignore list.
 
Eldritch said:
When I was 24, my girlfriend totally caught me checking out her Mom's ass at a BBQ. She busted me, asking if I liked what I saw. I replied with a grin that I did and I could see where her sister got it from.

Oops.

:laughing
Click to expand...

:rofl:rofl:roflwin
 
note to self; avoid traveling with asthmodeus


:laughing
 
asthmodeus said:
i was in a rental car just out of the airport in dublin ireland, driving on the wrong side for the first time, explaining in acute detail to my girlfriend at the time how stupid she was for forgetting to get international coverage on the cell for the month we were on vacation when a fly flew, via the moonroof, right into the back of my throat and instantly triggered the gag reflex mid-sentence and i gacked it off the windshield, onto the dashboard and watched it take off out her window. as she starts into a fit of laughter, i start bellowing incoherent voicings of disgust, grab my iced coffee to wash the germs down and the top pops off and it falls in my lap. then she laughed so hard she literally pissed her pants. we sat on the side of the M1 covered in coffee, piss and tears, laughing uncontrollably for at least 5 minutes.
Click to expand...

:laughing

Pretty sure if you asked my missus this question it would be marrying me. I still snigger tath I managed to pull that one off.
 
Eldritch said:
When I was 24, my girlfriend totally caught me checking out her Mom's ass at a BBQ. She busted me, asking if I liked what I saw. I replied with a grin that I did and I could see where her sister got it from.

Oops.

:laughing
Click to expand...

:rofl
 
Most days of my life are some painfully embarrassing "derp" moment followed by another. If I'm lucky there's no public, audible farting involved.
 
Arrived at Oakland airport after a day trip to LA. I spent 30 minutes of increasing panic failing to locate my car in the parking lot.

Until I remembered that I had driven my Audi there and not the EVO that I was desperately trying to locate.
 
20 something years ago we purchased a fax machine for our home. ! week later, my wife called me at work in a panic because it had run out of paper and she was expecting a fax.

She called to ask me to "fax her some paper".

I still rib her about that one.
 
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