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How much does a divorce cost?

From what I hear, it sounds like radioactive half-life decay. You start out with half of what you had before and half of that is taken as well.
 
alimony can be eliminated with a pre-nup, which everyone should try to get. The other powerful thing you can do, with a cooperative spouse, is convert child support into alimony. Often everyone can walk away with more in their pocket, that way. If you have any shared lines of credit, those should be closed immediately to avoid any temptation on either side. Similarly, if you have any valuable personal possessions (watch, etc) you might want to quietly hide them.
 
Hooli said:
So the bottom line is that it costs your sanity...
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In some states, yes.

It really does become the lesser of 2 evils. I don't envy the people who are screwed no matter what decision they make.

- Financial ruin
- Unhappily Married
 
My sister separated earlier this year, no way they'll reconcile. It will be her husbands second divorce and his second family of kids. His first are beyond needing support but my sisters youngest daughter is only 5. So it will be over two decades of paying child support for him by the time shes raised, counting what he paid for is other kids also.

He can't be in good spirits right now.
 
Blankpage said:
My sister separated earlier this year, no way they'll reconcile. It will be her husbands second divorce and his second family of kids. His first are beyond needing support but my sisters youngest daughter is only 5. So it will be over two decades of paying child support for him by the time shes raised, counting what he paid for is other kids also.

He can't be in good spirits right now.
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Didn't learn from first one eh? :laughing
 
cycle61 said:
Yep. Apparently it's because while I was out getting an education and career she decided to only raise the kids. I get it, that's an important job. But there's a whole lot of people who do that and also manage to propel their lives forward. Now, at 34 years old, she's never been employed, and is qualified to be a cashier at the grocery store, maybe. And this is clearly my fault.
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Dood. I've met your ex-wife. :nchantr
No, it's not your fault.
 
UDRider said:
Didn't learn from first one eh? :laughing
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They're both professionals and earn $200K/yr each. He's a phd and helped develop some of the standards used in internet communications. He's pretty bright and doesn't have a bunch of illegitimate children running around.

I know my sister, living with her would of been tough but him working 12-16 hr/day and out of town more than home didn't help. He had a family and she wanted one also, nothing wrong with that. Just two people that shouldn't of gotten together.
 
I understand if no one else agrees with me on this, but if you have to complete a pre-nup, you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
 
Kornholio said:
I understand if no one else agrees with me on this, but if you have to complete a pre-nup, you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
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I bet you don't feel the same now on a lot of matters that you felt a decade ago. Now apply that to two people. Its insurance and gives you options. You can choose to share if you want or stick it too the other side if you've been screwed.
 
Blankpage said:
I bet you don't feel the same now on a lot of matters that you felt a decade ago. Now apply that to two people. Its insurance and gives you options. You can choose to share if you want or stick it too the other side if you've been screwed.
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No I've pretty much always felt that way. I wouldn't say I'm crazy about being married anymore, but even before I was I couldn't see the point in having to write on paper that the other party won't fuck you over should you get divorced. The entire mentality of believing that you can't trust the person you're planning to marry enough that you have to draw up a pre-nup just doesn't make sense to me. If you can't trust them, you probably shouldn't be marrying them.
 
Kornholio said:
I understand if no one else agrees with me on this, but if you have to complete a pre-nup, you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
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So my asshole brother and I used to co-own a house before the bastard died. When he got married to some miserable woman with dollar signs in her eyes I wanted him to get one because I didn't want her to have any claim to the place.

It ain't always cut and dry.
 
MrIncredible said:
So my asshole brother and I used to co-own a house before the bastard died. When he got married to some miserable woman with dollar signs in her eyes I wanted him to get one because I didn't want her to have any claim to the place.

It ain't always cut and dry.
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It's still the same issue. He probably shouldn't have married her. Except that you saw it and he didn't.
 
cycle61 said:
Yep. Apparently it's because while I was out getting an education and career she decided to only raise the kids. I get it, that's an important job. But there's a whole lot of people who do that and also manage to propel their lives forward. Now, at 34 years old, she's never been employed, and is qualified to be a cashier at the grocery store, maybe. And this is clearly my fault.
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Huh. I worked, attended college/ grad school and raised my kiddo. Sucks that you have to pay her for choosing to stay at home and not pursue other avenues.
 
Well, brief talk yesterday and a long talk tonight. Talked about everything from the kid to possessions to retirement and also about options. She was okay with our daughter staying with me and we agreed that she would continue to use the studio attached to the garage, which is setup as an office, for her job so that she can continue to take and pick up the kid from school. We admitted our faults to each other and talked about things that we didn't like and would like changed. She said that she wanted to find a place stay temporarily (the house belongs to my family) while we try to work things out and I'm good with that. She did say that she didn't want anything from me, alimony or any of my retirement, and that there's no reason to sell the bike if we do end up splitting (no, I didn't get it in writing). She doesn't want it to get to the point of where we hate each other. I'm hoping for the best and thanks for the responses and my using this as an outlet.
 
RX311 said:
Had to tell the kid (she's 16) last night that I'm going to ask her mother for a divorce. Absolutely the hardest thing I've had to do in my life. Will try to do it on the cheap if possible and not expecting things to get too ugly(??). Bunch of info on the net but want to know from first hand experience if possible. No real estate or much property to have to deal with. She may want my Ducati, which isn't worth that much, and if need be, I'd rather sell it and see if she'd agree to put the $ into the kid's account. Any info would be much appreciated. Oh, we've been together for 19 years if it matters. I know I'll never be able to retire. :(
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[youtube]Q4YJHvzo2io[/youtube]
 
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