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Light bulb jokes

wannabe

wannabe

"Insignificant Other"
Joined
Aug 4, 2002
Location
San Jose, CA
Moto(s)
yes
Name
Aris
BARF perks
2006 Barfie
OK, peeps, post what ya got! I'll start:

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 2, but I don't know how you'd get them in there.
 
Q: How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb?

1: Light bulbs are irrelevant. Darkness is irrelevant, changing them is futile.

2: All of them.

3: One, but the whole collective enjoys the experience.

4: None. Darkness is irrelevant. Lightbulbs will be obsolete in the new order.

5: They don't change the light bulb, they assimilate it . . .

--------------

Q: How many Pakleds does it take to change a lightbulb?

1: None. They need Geordi. Geordi is smart.

2: Well, first they have to kidnap Geordi to make him tell them which way in the lightbulb is supposed to go........
 
LeaNiN_GsxR said:
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Click to expand...

Changing lighbulbs in Mexico is easy.
How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

one to change the bulb
one to hold the ladder
one to supervise
one to act as foreman
one to act as OSHA liason
one to draft legislation to prevent immigrants from doing the work
one to draft legislation to build a wall around the bulb
one to lobby to keep the work in the USA
one to lobby to use American made bulbs
one to lobby to use energy efficient "green" bulbs
one to take video for TV
one to comment about how they're "doing it wrong"
one on the radio, calling the bulb a whore for giving up so easy
one to travel around the country talking about how he'd "Change" the bulb
one female to warn "that's hot"
 
Why do idiots take a rock and a flash light to bed?

They throw the rock at the light bulb to turn it off.
Then they use the flash light to check if they really hit it.
 
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'd rather beat the room for being black :laughing
 
greener said:
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'd rather beat the room for being black :laughing
Click to expand...



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Heard at my daughters' choir performance on Monday:

How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll all just complain that it's too high.
 
How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. He holds the bulb, and all of Europe revolves around him.



How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

170. One to send the Never Fail Novena to the Cheektowaga Times for publication so St. Jude may grant the lightbulb request, one to say the Last Rites for the old lightbulb, ten volunteer firemen to break into the house and smash the old light bulb to bits, fifty to protest the abortion of the old lightbulb, ten to organize a lawn fete and spaghetti dinner at Our Most Holy Precious Blood of the Seventeen Martyred Saints R.C. Church to raise funds to buy a new light bulb (and the Monsignor a new pair of bowling shoes as a gift on St. Stanislaus Day), twenty from Chiavettas Catering to serve the food, twenty to run the Monte Carlo gambling tent, fifty to run everything else, one to go to Koplinskis Appliances to buy the light bulb, one to screw it in, five to say the Rosary as the bulb is being screwed in, and the Monsignor to bless it.
 
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