Monitoring kids email

[Asphaultnaut]

If it's necessary.

it is always necessary.

otherwise, by the time you find out in meatspace, the damage is done- and ongoing. The earlier control is lost, the weaker the foundation of character to build on

parenting means putting their welfare before your own beliefs and principles. If there is ever a conflict, doing what is "right" falls by the wayside for what is right for them.

lets take a clear cut modern mythology of a caretaker with power over a population he claims the responsibility of: Superman. So he throws Lex Luthor in jail at the end of each comic. doesn't kill him no matter how many deaths, maimings, and ruined destitute lives Luthor caused. Why? Because Superman valued his own ethics more than the people of Metropolis. He could not, and would not make the Ultimate Sacrifice (which is not "life"but continuing to live and continue accepting his responsibility regardless of pain or guilt).

So every time Luthor gets out and maims/kills/ruins lives again, who's responsible? the living man-god or the weak human he enabled?

 

[mike23w]

As noble as all this sounds, there's a multitude of apps and social media (twitter, FB, snapchat) that makes email obsolete.

people thought pen+paper would become obsolete because of computers, but people still write things down.

email*is still a useful medium to communicate. it'll never go away. pen+paper won't ever go away either.

each tool has it's pros/cons - the right tool for the right job.

when you have a new way to communicate it just means the other ways are used less.

 

[Bowling4Bikes]

good question

in order to do my best job as a parent I believe I should monitor just about everything, including their electronic communications. I would tell them I'm doing it, and why. I believe I have good kids who have learned to heed me, so I would be extremely surprised if I ever caught them doing anything unacceptable.

To follow: I don't expect them to be angels, so they'll need to learn sneakier ways of doing things that I disapprove of than blabbing about it on the web or whatnot. I also believe they are smart kids, and will be successful in finding ways to keep their dirty laundry on the down-low. If not for general prudence, then only so that Dad doesn't find out, is fine with me either way.

 

[Asphaultnaut]

of course, the second best tool in a parent's arsenal: psychological warfare.

Doesn't matter if you DO read every email, intercept every snapchat, or monitor every IM...if they THINK you can and do, you've won the other "half the battle"

My ex wife thought I was some sorta l33t h4xx0r because I "broke into" her Yahoo IM logs and "discovered" her infidelity. What I really did was turn on the computer where she'd recently upgraded to a different IM client where the new default behavior was "log in when Windows starts", and all the queued up IM's from her paramours came through. And she'd been so good about making sure the chatlogs were not saved LOL

good question

in order to do my best job as a parent I believe I should monitor just about everything, including their electronic communications. I would tell them I'm doing it, and why. I believe I have good kids who have learned to heed me, so I would be extremely surprised if I ever caught them doing anything unacceptable.

To follow: I don't expect them to be angels, so they'll need to learn sneakier ways of doing things that I disapprove of than blabbing about it on the web or whatnot. I also believe they are smart kids, and will be successful in finding ways to keep their dirty laundry on the down-low. If not for general prudence, then only so that Dad doesn't find out, is fine with me either way.

damn right. Make em earn the freedom. If they're savvy enough to avoid a Dad doing everything he can to monitor, they're savvy enough to avoid being victims of casual exploitation. And they're spending so much energy on dodging Dad they're staying out of trouble.

which means Dad's gotta work on staying current, to keep the game interesting.

 

[Toast]

Its not the emails I would worry about monitoring, no kid is going to use that for much of anything. What you have to worry about is what they're doing on Snap chat, tumblr, omegle, Facebook, Skype and text messages. Or that random video chat website where its mostly pervy dudes who whip out their wangs whenever a girl gets on.

 

[mean dad]

What parent gives their grade school child a smartphone with no parental controls installed?

 

[Asphaultnaut]

What parent gives their grade school child a smartphone with no parental controls installed?

sadly a lot of them and these parents see nothing even potentially wrong with it.

But they'll not let their kids ride bicycles out of fear of "safety".

 

[Abyss]

I think that it is not a bad idea at all, as long as the parent is reasonable with their expectations of what the child should be doing. Its one thing to see some creepy emails from a stranger, or receipts for signing up at nefarious websites, but there has to be a reasonable expectation of freedom. Such as if she is emailing boys and stuff, that really isn't something that would warrant censoring or even talking to them.

However in this day and age where the parent is responsible I can definitely see the desire to watch what your kids are doing on the internet.

My nonexistent future daughter is not dating until age 18

 

[Lester Green]

My nonexistent future daughter is not dating until age 18

let us know how that works out for you..

 

[JakesKTM]

none of our 5 kids have email. Email is obsolete.

They text, use instagram, and snapchat! Even though the oldest have facebook, only one uses facebook to promote his music, the others rarely get on their account. The 12 year olds don't even WANT a facebook account.

 

[gnahc79]

sadly a lot of them and these parents see nothing even potentially wrong with it.

But they'll not let their kids ride bicycles out of fear of "safety".

My kid (6) is learning to ride his bike w/o training wheels. He can balance fine. but the other day he was sailing across the school yard and forgot how to stop. I could have stopped him from taking a spill, but I let him take a tumble anyways . He knows how to stop now

 

[Reli]

Email?? LOL, if they really wanted to send naughty stuff via email, they'd create an acct that you don't know about.

And you can control what they do at home, but you can't control machines they use at school or a friend's place.

 

[Lester Green]

Email?? LOL, if they really wanted to send naughty stuff via email, they'd create an acct that you don't know about.

And you can control what they do at home, but you can't control machines they use at school or a friend's place.

silly boy, that's why you have to be a parent and know your kids.

 

[mean dad]

My kid (6) is learning to ride his bike w/o training wheels. He can balance fine. but the other day he was sailing across the school yard and forgot how to stop. I could have stopped him from taking a spill, but I let him take a tumble anyways . He knows how to stop now

silly boy, that's why you have to be a parent and know your kids.

Thank you.

 

[Asphaultnaut]

My kid (6) is learning to ride his bike w/o training wheels. He can balance fine. but the other day he was sailing across the school yard and forgot how to stop. I could have stopped him from taking a spill, but I let him take a tumble anyways . He knows how to stop now

awesome. better a little pain traded for preventative experience now when he's slow, then a lot of pain when he's older, faster and unwilling to listen to his elders. Plus no one else is at risk for being forced to to learn his lesson at the same time.

 

[SFSV650]

I find it deeply ironic that parents and 'the community' obsess over the legion of pedophiles supposedly hiding behind every bush, naughty words on the internet, and the slip and fall hazards on the playground, but then display willingness to do sweet fuck all when a kid is actually getting pummeled on a regular basis by his schoolmates.

 

[gnahc79]

I find it deeply ironic that parents and 'the community' obsess over the legion of pedophiles supposedly hiding behind every bush, naughty words on the internet, and the slip and fall hazards on the playground, but then display willingness to do sweet fuck all when a kid is actually getting pummeled on a regular basis by his schoolmates.

didn't you know that every child is a golden child that can do no wrong?

w/ my kids, when they are old enough to have phones (or whatever is around by then) I'll show them how I can code up something to spy on all of their digital conversations, but never say if/when I will install it. If they resort to smoke signals or soup cans and string, I'll know somethings up .

 

[fast4d]

I don't need to monitor my 11 year old daughter's email.

she's had an ipod touch for a year now. we are very active in her school, sports and friends.

she don't hang around the little sluts and drama queens. but then she goes to a private catholic school. she was in public school last year and managed to stay away from them. I can tell which ones they are by looking at their moms at functions.

 

[corndog67]

Remember the asshole kid in the Escalade in Concord that killed the guy and his kid (I think)? All his Facebook stuff popped up, wannabe thug bullshit, his asshole brother threatening people, do ya think his shit should have been monitored? What kind of websites would you assume he was on when he was in his formative years? His parents failed, absolutely.

 

[UDRider]

Remember the asshole kid in the Escalade in Concord that killed the guy and his kid (I think)? All his Facebook stuff popped up, wannabe thug bullshit, his asshole brother threatening people, do ya think his shit should have been monitored? What kind of websites would you assume he was on when he was in his formative years? His parents failed, absolutely.

His parents failed, but not because they didn't monitor his email/facebook.