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Quality Craiglists Posts

Ducky_Fresh

Treasure Hunter
Joined
Aug 28, 2002
Location
South Bay
Moto(s)
Virtual Moto
Name
Ev
Feel free to post them here...

I just found this one, while looking for an indoor soccer team at SilverCreek for the next session. If you're on a team there, let me know, I'm interested in playing! :)

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/rnr/1182547345.html
To the stinky women at Club One Silvercreek (san jose south)
Gag me...literally.

While I mean no offense to these women, if you are of Indian decent and have a BO issue, then, for the sake of those who share your workout space - PLEASE SHOWER BEFORE CLASS!

Yesterday's class was unbearable, imagine kickboxing but unable to inhale...its stifles the fat burning process.

Again, no offense to Indians, I LOVE curry and samosas =), but its common courtesy to consider how ones hygiene effects others.

Thank you.

Enjoy that gem!!!!!!!!! :laughing
 
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To the stinky women at Club One Silvercreek (san jose south)

Reply to:pers-a6sx7-1182547345@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-21, 2:15PM PDT


Gag me...literally.

While I mean no offense to these women, if you are of Indian decent and have a BO issue, then, for the sake of those who share your workout space - PLEASE SHOWER BEFORE CLASS!

Yesterday's class was unbearable, imagine kickboxing but unable to inhale...its stifles the fat burning process.

Again, no offense to Indians, I LOVE curry and samosas =), but its common courtesy to consider how ones hygiene effects others.

Thank you.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1182547345

Copyright © 2009 craigslist, inc. terms of use privacy policy feedback forum
 
I'm about 5 minutes from Silvercreek. Been playing at Off The Wall for about 2 years now. I'm pretty good. There is no way I'm going to Livermore to play though. I appreciate the consideration though!
 
Hands down the funniest CL posting ever! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html

DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.
Date: 2006-07-17, 2:10AM PDT


Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.
 
pringles.gif
 
I just broke the silence of the cubicles in my office with my laughter... freakin hilarious!
 
while this probably won't top the pringles post...

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/rnr/1190362592.html

I am a member of the Church of Morman (dumbass)
Reply to:pers-gx5td-1190362592@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-26, 4:40PM PDT


Your really a member of the Church of Morman??? Really you can't even spell what religion you are supposed to be!!!
It's MORMON douchebag!!! If you turn ON your SPELLCHECK it would fix that for you!
It's also NOT called The Church of Morman if you ACTUALLY went there you would know that...
Your god must be so proud to have you as their spokesperson!!!

Location: dumbass
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1190362592

grammar nazis on craigslist? reminds me of barf...:twofinger
 
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/rnr/1190362592.html

I am a member of the Church of Morman (dumbass)
Reply to:pers-gx5td-1190362592@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-26, 4:40PM PDT


Your'e really a member of the Church of Morman??? Really? You can't even spell what religion you are supposed to be!!!
It's MORMON douchebag!!! If you turn ON your SPELLCHECK it would fix that for you!
It's also NOT called The Church of Morman. If you actually went there, you should have known that...
Your god must be so proud to have you as their spokesperson!!!

Location: dumbass
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1190362592

grammar nazis on craigslist? reminds me of barf...:twofinger

pshh...tard ass Grammer Nazi
 
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