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The BARF mental health thread

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Oh wait, is this the mental health thread?
I thought it was the mental illness thread... my bad. :rofl
 
Yes, I believe it was Freud who pegged that inward anger with depression aspect. It has helped me to unravel and understand my own behavior. I’m a long term project though I keep trying and I appreciate the helpers along the rocky way. Nice thread topic. Hope it lasts.
 
My wife and her girls all struggle with anxiety and depression and manage it very well for the most part with SSRIs. I tend to internalize my stress and anxiety (probably has something to do with my migraines). Mrs and I sought out therapy to help with managing our day-to-day stresses and anxieties, not necessarily because we have issues but because we want to be able to address things before it becomes an issue. And some self-reflection on my part has really made a big difference in some small areas for me. I've come a long way but I still have a long way to go.
 
two wheel tramp said:
Sometimes, just by talking through something, I figure out my own answer.
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I love my wife to death but one thing that bugs me is that I can't vent to her about anything. She has a strong personality and is good at flipping my complaint or hurt back on me and making it my fault, complete with a lecture on how much more she has on her shoulders, and I should be grateful blah blah blah.
It invalidates and minimizes my feelings.

I've tried to point this out, but I learned a long time ago it's better to keep quiet and deal with it on my own because the response I get from her won't be sympathetic or cooperative. Go along to get along essentially.
 
Abacinator said:
My wife and her girls all struggle with anxiety and depression and manage it very well for the most part with SSRIs. I tend to internalize my stress and anxiety (probably has something to do with my migraines). Mrs and I sought out therapy to help with managing our day-to-day stresses and anxieties, not necessarily because we have issues but because we want to be able to address things before it becomes an issue. And some self-reflection on my part has really made a big difference in some small areas for me. I've come a long way but I still have a long way to go.
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Therapy literally gives you tools to help manage life. It’s pretty rad. Props for making your marriage a priority and working to honor your commitment. Proper man shit right there. :thumbup
 
Mike95060 said:
Therapy literally gives you tools to help manage life. It’s pretty rad. Props for making your marriage a priority and working to honor your commitment. Proper man shit right there. :thumbup
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It's been a big help, for sure! Thank you for the validation too. Feels good, man
 
greenmonster said:
I love my wife to death but one thing that bugs me is that I can't vent to her about anything. She has a strong personality and is good at flipping my complaint or hurt back on me and making it my fault, complete with a lecture on how much more she has on her shoulders, and I should be grateful blah blah blah.
It invalidates and minimizes my feelings.

I've tried to point this out, but I learned a long time ago it's better to keep quiet and deal with it on my own because the response I get from her won't be sympathetic or cooperative. Go along to get along essentially.
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That’s not cool and I’m sorry you don’t have that space to let your feelings out safely. Sometimes a person just wants to be seen and heard.
 
I once wanted so badly to kill my father. At one point I was obsessed with the thoughts. (I won’t go into the whys.) The situation was driving me mad.

But then, at the young age of 18, I discovered a way out. I discovered that all I had to do was to think differently about him. To simply alter my thoughts and thought patterns about him. I learned more about my father. I learned about his being beaten by his own father. That was what he knew about discipline. I learned more about his experiences in France during WWII. He returned home with shell shock/PTSD. I learned of the effects of his bad smoking habit on the state of his mind. I learned of his stint in Agnews State Mental Hospital from all this. I learned of his doctor’s recommendation to have a couple of fingers of wine in the evening after he came home from work. I learned of his alcoholism when two fingers became four. And then became a full tumbler which led to him to drinking gallon bottles of wine. I learned of his religious beliefs which prevented him from using birth control and having more children than he could support. (I'm the oldest of twelve.) Etc.

And so I changed my thinking and my thoughts about him though it ycertainly wasn’t easy to do. And I gradually came to love him again, flaws and all. But that didn’t mean that I liked him as a person. I found, by changing my thoughts about him that I could still love him though I didn’t have to like him.

And this occurred along with the passage of time. My thoughts became different about him. And these changes were the result of some of the things I’ve already suggested in this thread. I saved myself from madness and murder by changing my thoughts. By changing my thinking. By changing my thought patterns.

Mental illness is all in the mind. It can sometimes be induced by physical changes, but ultimately mental health resides only in the mind. And that is why it’s treated by psychiatrists and therapists who specialize in treating the mind.

And that is why I made the suggestions I did. They were things that worked for me to prevent me from falling into the abyss. It wasn’t me minimizing anything. I hope you all can understand this.
 
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No, I won’t.

And if it isn’t in the mind, where is it? In my left arm? In my ass? Please tell me where you think it is. I’d really like to know if you have a different answer.
 
I was really looking forward to this thread. But I would never open-up in a room where some dip-shit tells me "it's all in your head"...
NO SHIT MOTHERFUCKER!!
 
What? Because I said mental illness is in the mind? And you disagree with that statement? Because if it isn’t in the mind, the entire psychiatric world would really like to know where it actually resides.

And sorry Enchanter, had this post ready to go before you posted.
 
Enchanter said:
The yellow flag is waving at every station. Let's all sit up out of the bubble and roll off the throttle.
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Yeah, I'm fucking red-lined and ready to blow a gasket! :mad
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ST Guy said:
What? Because I said mental illness is in the mind? And you disagree with that statement? Because if it isn’t in the mind, the entire psychiatric world would really like to know where it actually resides.

And sorry Enchanter, had this post ready to go before you posted.
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And nevertheless you keep persisting. You’re basically trolling at this point. I would appreciate it greatly if you would kindly let us have our discussion without dominating it. I’ve asked more than once. You seem to think you have some great wisdom to impart.

You do not.

Please just stop.
 
two wheel tramp said:
And nevertheless you keep persisting. You’re basically trolling at this point. I would appreciate it greatly if you would kindly let us have our discussion without dominating it. I’ve asked more than once. You seem to think you have some great wisdom to impart.

You do not.

Please just stop.
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He probably just needs a lil snack and drink plenty of water and take a walk.
 
Fine. If you guys can’t see the value
of what I have contributed and the valid reasons I defended myself from posts by very rude people, I am now out of here. I wont be back unless someone posts an apology.

You can have your rude people.
 
Thanks for this thread TWT. The barf collective had been incredibly kind and patient with me throughout the years.
Today when I posted about wanting to just pack it in and run away I was very grateful to be met with a lot of “been there’s” and zero suggestions of what I need to do to curb those feelings.
We are fortunate to be a strong collective of such truly wonderful people.
 
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