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What's the best/cheeziest pick up line you've heard/used? / THREADS MERGED

Hey, are you coming to the BBQ? The one where I put my meat on your grille?

:twofinger
 
Personally, I don't use pick up lines on teh wimmenz and wouldn't wanna meet the kind that falls for one....

I like the type I can just simply say " Hi " and they tell me " fuck off and die, fgt modz.."

now that's sexy...:love
 
I've got a shirt made:

"I'm bring Misogyny back".

Works like a charm on college Baristas.
 
i usually wear my shirt that says
"I do all my own nude scenes"
works great
 
Oddly enough, I've never used a pick up line to initiate a conversation with any gal I've spoken too.
 
I once had a guy staring into my eyes, and he leaned in a bit, and said "Your eyes are like big green ponds... I could just fall in..."
I laughed (cuz if the pond is green, that would be pond scum, right??), and choked on my drink. It wasn't pretty. By the time I'd stopped coughing, my eyes really were like ponds, cuz of all the tearing up from the coughing... :cry

And no, it didn't work.
 
my favorite bad pickup lines. this is a long list, sorry about that, but these crack me up, have for years:

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

So, you're a girl huh?

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

I am a magical being, take off your bra.

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.

Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?

I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.

So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.

I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.

Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits.

Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.

You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.

Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.

If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?

If you were a duck and I were a moose, and we had sex, we'd make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this: [make the wierdest sound you can].

You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.

Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guinness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?

I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

Do you think a relationship between you and I would be all sex, or do you think that there would be some depth to it?

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Wow.

Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."

I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.

You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.

(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.

Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.

If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..

Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.

Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?

If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.

People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.

Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.

I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.

Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?

You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.

Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)

I can make you feel like I've never had sex before.

Hi. Are you cute?

I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

(Walk over to her) "Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."

Chicks dig me. I wear colored underwear.

Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.

Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.

If I pet you, would you follow me home?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Most people would agree that society these days has lost a bit of its civility. It's a shame. You have excellent posture.
 
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I have a black work shirt with a Playboy patch on one side and a patch that says Talent Scout on the other side. That shirt was a riot to wear to the bars.

Paty doesn't like it though, anybody want it?
 
wazzuFreddo said:
I have a black work shirt with a Playboy patch on one side and a patch that says Talent Scout on the other side. That shirt was a riot to wear to the bars.

Paty doesn't like it though, anybody want it?
Click to expand...

I woul take it, but not my size.:laughing
 
mongrel said:
my favorite bad pickup lines. this is a long list, sorry about that, but these crack me up, have for years:

If you were a duck and I were a moose, and we had sex, we'd make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this: [make the wierdest sound you can].

You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
Click to expand...

:rofl:rofl:rofl

These 2 rule!
 
i was using "Hey how you doin" way before friends but not as cheesy.

it depends on the moment really. and the only times it has really worked is when i'd be drunk as fuck (thanks Tucker).

i remember being at the bar and i asked some chick how do you spell karoke while on the blackberry. but my best girl friend said she was too easy and made me not go home with her.
 
Your best pick up line.

alright... so i don't have one. :loser what i'll do is get a buddy or two to go over and ask them a few questions. name, city they live in. something like that. then i'll go over, stop in front of her like she has just dropped from heaven, look her dead in the eye like i can't believe what i am seeing and pretend i'm pyschic. :rofl

oooooook, so i don't do that either :rolleyes so what's your fav/best pick up line?
 
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