2nd Time... Dating IS FUN!

[Dubbington]

1. Everyone is available
2. Every trait you just listed only matters to me within the context of who the person is.

I'm not Trying to limit myself to raw data and see if someone just fits an equation I Alresdy have set out.


I refuse to quantify people

Stuff in common is overrated.i don't need to have pretty much anything in common with you. Shit, that might make it more fun

Kev, let's be real please. You have to have some boundaries. Let's start with a full set of teeth and nothing contagious, how that??

You situation is clearly different that I don't know...95% of people that are dating. Yeah, we could be wrong in what we are looking for based on some criteria, some having unrealistic lists, but some sort or of list is necessary, to me those are standards.

Of course I could date the hot 21 year old fish grabber at Pet Smart but how is that being realistic? It would be fun but certainly temporary.

I think job, if they smoke, do drugs, have or want kids are all important questions to ask oneself about someone they're are interested in. Then you get into where they are in life stage wise and if lifestyles mix.

Some daters are hyper critical and single for a reason, they're looking for this perfect being that doesn't exist. What you're implying is to have no standards and I can't subscribe to that.

 

[kevin 714]

I'm emphatically not sayinh I have no standards.


I'm saying context is wgat matters. She have no job? Maybe she's fresh out of the peace corps, or maybe she's taking a sabbatical. Maybe a craopy boss ran her Compsny under and she's taking a break.

Or how about whether she's a fish grabber or not doesn't matter because people aren't defined by their fuckin job

She smoke? Not mt cup of tea, but I'm not Gunna turn down someone I'm otherwise super into cause she smokes a little. Maybe she wants to quit, maybe I HELP her quit. Maybe smoking helps her concentrate on her awesome nuanced writing



The entire problem across all your dating threads is the obvious trend you have an idea of what you want and are just Trying to find a chick to plug into your life equation. That's not how life works

 

[carries an axe]

I'm emphatically not sayinh I have no standards.


I'm saying context is wgat matters. She have no job? Maybe she's fresh out of the peace corps, or maybe she's taking a sabbatical. Maybe a craopy boss ran her Compsny under and she's taking a break.

Or how about whether she's a fish grabber or not doesn't matter because people aren't defined by their fuckin job

She smoke? Not mt cup of tea, but I'm not Gunna turn down someone I'm otherwise super into cause she smokes a little. Maybe she wants to quit, maybe I HELP her quit. Maybe smoking helps her concentrate on her awesome nuanced writing



The entire problem across all your dating threads is the obvious trend you have an idea of what you want and are just Trying to find a chick to plug into your life equation. That's not how life works

I actually fully agree

I'm 100% certain that I've turned down people based solely on a poorly written blurb or shitty photo.

It's not something that I gave much thought to either.

 

[Eldritch]

1. Everyone is available
2. Every trait you just listed only matters to me within the context of who the person is.

I'm not Trying to limit myself to raw data and see if someone just fits an equation I Alresdy have set out.


I refuse to quantify people

Stuff in common is overrated.i don't need to have pretty much anything in common with you. Shit, that might make it more fun

Common interests help sustain a relationship after 7 years when most of the chemical sustainers are pretty much long gone if you don't have children.

 

[nbean16]

I agree
Say you meet a woman at a concert. You start out strictly based on attraction.
How long will it take you to find out if:
is she available?
is she employed?
How many kids?
Doe she have a house, car or apartment?
Do you have anything in common besides liking Justin Bieber?

How many more can you meet at the concert & now, how much have you spent?

You take the raw data and if you go out for coffee, you find out if you have a connection.

What issue do you have? Seriously.

I got to agree with kevin on this. The women that are complete opposites to me have been some of my best relationships. I think if i listed the ideal traits i have in a woman it would likely end up a disaster. You listed height as a trait that youre looking for, what difference does shit like that make? And you seem to be concerned about total dollars spent per woman. I guess with a ton of dates that matters. But ive never been dating someone and needed to find out what our future was before i hit the 200 dollar mark. Its supposed to be fun.

Maybe when im older online dating will seem more positive, but the whole idea is just off-putting to me. Im willing to trade less dates for meeting women more organically and maybe finding someone different then i ever expected. Glad its working for you and some other people here, but i can see why kevin feels that way.

 

[nbean16]

Common interests help sustain a relationship after 7 years when most of the chemical sustainers are pretty much long gone if you don't have children.

How about teaching eachother about your different interests?

 

[aminalmutha]

Based on the list of requirements for a partner in your average woman's online profile (I am not into this stuff, but I've browsed ages ago and also hear shit in the break room/knitting circle at work), you should:

Have this guy's bod:

This guy's money:

And a dong like this:

 

[Eldritch]

How about teaching eachother about your different interests?

That can certainly work if the other person is receptive, but they not always are able. If you're a runner and it is one of your passions, you can teach someone about running as a lifestyle (it is for some people), but some people just really don't like to run, play chess, go camping, ride motorcycles or whatever it is your passion is you're trying to share. I think a diversity of interests is also important to a good relationship to balance the perspective of the individual, but some shared key interests are also important, especially if you don't have kids (which are an easy fixation for shared interest).

 

[Dubbington]

How about teaching eachother about your different interests?

That happens on a 1st date? When your online looking for girls to message?

Sharing interests happens a few dates in at the minimum.

Dating as an adult vs dating while in college is completely different. In college you have less responsibilities (generally) and can skip a class, arent working (generally) and are more flexible and have the ability to meet someone and sacrifice time more.

Once an adult and working, ones time is generally less flexible. Cant really skip a day of work to go on a date. Potential partners have to "fit" into ones life more as an adult than when younger. To me it's just make sense.

I guess it depends what one prioritizes in their life and if their work and other things define them. As an example, I personally don't have the time to date someone in SF and generally dont mesh well with SF women. I've tried, doesnt work. Having dogs, living in the east bay, makes dating SF women very tough.

From this thread it seems there are realistic/logical daters who dont want to waste time, know what they want and other daters who are nonchalant, carefree and just want to have a good time. Nothing wrong with either.

 

[oobus]

I actually fully agree

I'm 100% certain that I've turned down people based solely on a poorly spelled blurb or shitty photo.

It's not something that I gave much thought to either.

I don't think you and Kevin will be a good match.

 

[nbean16]

That happens on a 1st date? When your online looking for girls to message?

Sharing interests happens a few dates in at the minimum.

Dating as an adult vs dating while in college is completely different. In college you have less responsibilities (generally) and can skip a class, arent working (generally) and are more flexible and have the ability to meet someone and sacrifice time more.

Once an adult and working, ones time is generally less flexible. Cant really skip a day of work to go on a date. Potential partners have to "fit" into ones life more as an adult than when younger. To me it's just make sense.

I guess it depends what one prioritizes in their life and if their work and other things define them. As an example, I personally don't have the time to date someone in SF and generally dont mesh well with SF women. I've tried, doesnt work. Having dogs, living in the east bay, makes dating SF women very tough.

From this thread it seems there are realistic/logical daters who dont want to waste time, know what they want and other daters who are nonchalant, carefree and just want to have a good time. Nothing wrong with either.

No of course not on a first date. Thats my point, you cant just say "well we like different stuff so its not worth the time to see if it will work." And i do get if youre just totally different people and hate the others interests it wont work. Yes now that im in my 30s of course its different and more difficult than dating in college but i dont find it all that hard to find the time. I guess if your job is super demanding and just have very little time i could see it.

 

[Eldritch]

I don't think you and Kevin will be a good match.

It is true, Kev holds out for the pringle dong. Only the best for bro.

 

[carries an axe]

 

[Hooli]

That happens on a 1st date? When your online looking for girls to message?

Just eliminate all the jibber-jabber and get to the damn point with this t-shirt.

 

[Sharky]

Yeah, exactly. No matter how much of a troll a woman may be, there is always half a dozen dudes just around the corner who are dirtier dawgs.

Reminds me of the phrase, "goin' hoggin'".

 

[Eldritch]

Reminds me of the phrase, "goin' hoggin'".

Or a, "Cattle Call," but that usually refers to a dude that feels like he is lowering his game just to get his dick wet. I promise though, no matter the grade of the woman, there is ALWAYS half a dozen dudes who are SUPER STOKED to get up in there at every opportunity. The shit I have seen working in the TL is AMAZING.

 

[Holeshot]

damn

when dubs is giving you dating advice

no place left to go but up

Plot Twist: Dubbs IS the other guy...

 

[Bassem]

Plot Twist: Dubbs IS the other guy...

 

[Abacinator]

I went on one date with a girl on OKC, and now she's stalking my profile

 

[bruceflinch]

From this thread it seems there are realistic/logical daters who dont want to waste time, know what they want and other daters who are nonchalant, carefree and just want to have a good time. Nothing wrong with either.

Nicely said! To each their own.

Just eliminate all the jibber-jabber and get to the damn point with this t-shirt.

Is that "Pat"?

I went on one date with a girl on OKC, and now she's stalking my profile

I have a woman like that on Our Time. I sent her a nice note. I've complimented her pictures. She has looked at my profile 7 times, but doesn't respond. I guess she is shy..