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Help - How has dating changed in the last 20 years?

TheRobSJ said:
Dafuq? Who would upload a poorly lit badge photo into their profile? His physical appearance aside, that other pic isn't doing him any favors either with the picture of him sitting at the computer in a rare moment when there isn't porn or a game going on one of the screens.

JFC. I'm amazed I ever had stretches of a week or two with no action when I was in the online dating pool with competition like that dude.
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I ran across another guy that posted a picture of himself as he was about to get his eyebrowns waxed :laughing I really don't know what these guys are thinking :wow

cycle61 said:
At least he had the sense to hide the tissue box and bottle of lotion.
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:rofl

bruceflinch said:
:rofl

Separated status is a yellow flag, a very Yellow Flag. CA is 6 month minimum for divorce.

Snip..

Women are usually so inundated with messages they take awhile to check out all the guys who appeal to them.

It is a numbers games. Doesn't cost much just keep playing till you get a hit.
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Yes, I am totally inundated with messages. Trying to find time to respond to the ones that seem reasonable.

I am having a dilemma... clearly the only guys interested in 44 year old women are 44 year old and older men. 90% of the responses I receive are from men that are 45 - 55 years old (more on the higher side). It's frustrating... none of them would bat an eye if they were to meet me if I said I was 39.... so...

Should I consider lying? I'd rather not but I can see my options are really being limited because of it. It might be better to deal with the consequences afterward.
 
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cycle61 said:
No.

Consider in-person to be your better option for meeting younger guys.
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That's what I am leaning towards too. I am a honest person and starting things off on the wrong foot just seems like a poor choice.

I look at some of these guys and they look almost as old as my father :cry
 
///M3lissa said:
I am having a dilemma... clearly the only guys interested in 44 year old women are 44 year old and older men. 90% of the responses I receive are from men that are 45 - 55 years old (more on the higher side). It's frustrating... none of them would bat an eye if they were to meet me if I said I was 39.... so...

Should I consider lying? I'd rather not but I can see my options are really being limited because of it. It might be better to deal with the consequences afterward.
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I wonder if those dudes are thinking the same thing, that they look 10 years younger. Everyone thinks they look younger.
Just add 5-10 years to everyone's claimed age.
 
///M3lissa said:
I ran across another guy that posted a picture of himself as he was about to get his eyebrowns waxed :laughing I really don't know what these guys are thinking :wow
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Well you're barking up the wrong tree with that guy. It ain't a female he's looking for.
 
///M3lissa said:
I ran across another guy that posted a picture of himself as he was about to get his eyebrowns waxed :laughing I really don't know what these guys are thinking :wow
Yes, I am totally inundated with messages. Trying to find time to respond to the ones that seem reasonable.

I am having a dilemma... clearly the only guys interested in 44 year old women are 44 year old and older men. 90% of the responses I receive are from men that are 45 - 55 years old (more on the higher side). It's frustrating... none of them would bat an eye if they were to meet me if I said I was 39.... so...

Should I consider lying? I'd rather not but I can see my options are really being limited because of it. It might be better to deal with the consequences afterward.
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Don't lie. State your intentions clearly.
If you want a LTR, just say so. State what your age preference is.
If some old fart messages you, just ignore because he has no reading comprehension skills :laughing
 
On dating sites, most people are lying about their ages, so the pictures you're seeing probably don't match they age they're posting and are probably at least several years out of date anyways.
FWIW, women are even worse than men when it comes to pre-judging people by age, they wouldn't touch a man who is 39 because that is too close to 40. :wtf
When I was 39 I put my real age on the dating sites and got ignored, changed it to 38 and suddenly plenty of replies!

As to whether to lie.....what are you looking for? If it's just fun and not serious then it's probably still like submitting a resume, everybody does it so there is an automatic mental adjustment when looking at profiles. If you're looking for serious or open to a long term, then better to start off on the right foot.

They don't have a choice for 'I'm a Cougar' for what you're looking for? :laughing
 
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If you lie the lie will eventually come out.

People aren't stupid. Men who write they're 6' just to get a foot in the door often aren't the type of people to convince women their lie is ok either
 
Blankpage said:
I wonder if those dudes are thinking the same thing, that they look 10 years younger. Everyone thinks they look younger.
Just add 5-10 years to everyone's claimed age.
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I know, I know. I am not saying I look younger because I think I do. I am saying it because dozens of people have commented to me that I don't look my age, and look closer to 35-37. Maybe I've surrounded myself with liars? :laughing

bruceflinch said:
Don't lie. State your intentions clearly.
If you want a LTR, just say so. State what your age preference is.
If some old fart messages you, just ignore because he has no reading comprehension skills :laughing
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Good idea. I haven't seen anyone with an upper age limited listed on their profile so I hadn't considered doing that.

Climber said:
On dating sites, most people are lying about their ages, so the pictures you're seeing probably don't match they age they're posting and are probably at least several years out of date anyways.
FWIW, women are even worse than men when it comes to pre-judging people by age, they wouldn't touch a man who is 39 because that is too close to 40. :wtf
When I was 39 I put my real age on the dating sites and got ignored, changed it to 38 and suddenly plenty of replies!

As to whether to lie.....what are you looking for? If it's just fun and not serious then it's probably still like submitting a resume, everybody does it so there is an automatic mental adjustment when looking at profiles. If you're looking for serious or open to a long term, then better to start off on the right foot.

They don't have a choice for 'I'm a Cougar' for what you're looking for? :laughing
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That would be perfect :thumbup

In all seriousness.. I just want someone that I feel somewhat matches me both inside and outside.

Your example of the one year date adjustment is exactly why I have been considering changing my age.

HappyHighwayman said:
If you lie the lie will eventually come out.

People aren't stupid. Men who write they're 6' just to get a foot in the door often aren't the type of people to convince women their lie is ok either
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Oh I know. I wouldn't try to pull it off long term.

I really appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts with me. It's been helpful.

Should I share some more pictures of my "matches"? Some of them are pretty dang entertaining!
 
The funny thing is that some of those guys probably would look fine if they got a decent haircut and dressed in clothing that fit.

Perhaps they're still living in the 50s and 60s where men had all the power.
 
Think about the SMP though. It is honest, and that can be brutal.

If you're 44, expect men who are 44 and older to be interested in you. Don't expect younger men to be. Why should they be? If you're aiming for 35 year olds, put yourself in their shoes.

Would you, at 29, have dated a 20 year old male? The SMP has invisible curves for each sexes value at any given time.

A woman in her 20s is at the peak of her bell curve, while a male in his 20s is at the bottom of his bell curve. Whereas a male in his mid 30s and early 40s is now at the peak of his bell curve while a female is at the tail end of her bell curve. There's very little value left at that point due to what each side brings to the table.
 
Phanuel said:
Think about the SMP though. It is honest, and that can be brutal.

If you're 44, expect men who are 44 and older to be interested in you. Don't expect younger men to be. Why should they be? If you're aiming for 35 year olds, put yourself in their shoes.

Would you, at 29, have dated a 20 year old male? The SMP has invisible curves for each sexes value at any given time.

A woman in her 20s is at the peak of her bell curve, while a male in his 20s is at the bottom of his bell curve. Whereas a male in his mid 30s and early 40s is now at the peak of his bell curve while a female is at the tail end of her bell curve. There's very little value left at that point due to what each side brings to the table.
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At 29 I would not have considered a 20 year old, but I would have considered a 24 year old, as well up to 40. I would consider anyone 5 years on either side of my age (39 to 49) that met my criteria, and I still might consider beyond that if we appeared to have some compatibility. Ultimately, it's not just about age but about attraction. On match it seems that very few men are willing to consider 5 years older but they'd consider 15 or more years younger.

The downside of considering men more than 5 or more years younger is that most of them seem to have a ticking biological clock and want kids.

I am begining to think match sucks :laughing
 
Please post more photos, it makes the rest of us old guys feel better about ourselves.

Plus, it may help some of the single guys on here up there game. God knows they need all the help they can get.
 
Online dating in general sucks, but it is what it is.
 
As has been hinted in earlier posts, online dating is about volume. If you check out 50 potential matches, one might be worth further evaluation and the rest are junk.
 
T3h Innan3tz... 300,000 males to every female. And 93.51% of the females are actually fat dudes wearing their mom's drawers.
 
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