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Is chivalry really dead?

Johndicezx9 said:
Yeah, at really casual places for simple meet’n’greets, like Starbucks or another coffee cafe place. So much less threatening.
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And so much less time investment too if you’re not feeling it. Going to dinner and all that and then pulling the getting the phone call 15 minutes in where you have an emergency and have to leave is such blatant horseshit, I’m amazed people still pull that these days. Finish your coffee and that’s that.
 
I grew up in the '50s, when courtesy was expected, and I've always opened doors for ladies. :afm199 Did it going in t work one day (probably 20 years ago!) and the "lady" proceeded to scream at me about how she is perfectly capable of opening her own door, and how sexist I was - I told her that in the future I would only open doors for ladies! :rofl
 
Alan_Hepburn said:
I grew up in the '50s, when courtesy was expected, and I've always opened doors for ladies. :afm199 Did it going in t work one day (probably 20 years ago!) and the "lady" proceeded to scream at me about how she is perfectly capable of opening her own door, and how sexist I was - I told her that in the future I would only open doors for ladies! :rofl
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I’ve never had anyone, any age, either gender get mad at me for extending that courtesy. If they’re close enough that the door would close right in front of them I really try my best to hold the door. :dunno

If someone did say something like that I’d probably respond with “well, it makes me feel better.”
 
With OLD,

The first date isn't really a 'date'. Its just a meet and greet to see if 1) The person really looks like who they say they are in their photos and 2) To see if theres any chemistry or potential down the line. You do the formal stuff with someone you've already met. Not with someone you haven't.

If you think this is odd, just wait until the kinds of behavior people will pull on you with these apps. Be prepared to have alot of patience and a thick skin.
 
Johndicezx9 said:
Not so much chivalry, but common courtesy....
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Very much this. Some may think I'm too accommodating, but I get to go home and know life went a tad more smoothly for someone. Acknowledging that other people exist keeps society moving IMHO.
 
TheRobSJ said:
As I said over in the other thread a couple days ago, maybe it’s just today’s generation/millennials, but dudes are really low effort these days. It’s a different game from when I was single. The plus side to all this, is as you saw with her lingering at the car, you can close a lot faster. Three date rule is done it seems.
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I don't know about other dudes, with respect to being lazy. Parts of that wouldn't surprise me...

... but a quick poll of the two other women roommates in my house said it's a matter of safety. Getting picked up means that don't have an easy and fast escape if it all goes bad. (Yes, there's a cab or uber/lyft.. but it's not as easy as just getting in your own car.) As pointed out, they both said it also means the guy knows where you live, which isn't a smart thing if you're just trying to feel out random internet strangers.
 
A lot of factors at play.

When I first moved out here in '89, my cost for a date tripled between higher prices at restaurants (from New Hampshire) and the fact that the women expected you to buy a bottle (or 2) of good wine. And plenty of them really ran up guys tabs.

I think that the old order was on the decline by then and exploitation for free fancy meals helped kill guys willingness to foot the bill throughout the dating process, especially with the rise of online dating where some women bragged about getting many free meals, that was a big turn-off to guys.

Then sexual dynamics changing where girls were more willing to have sex than they had in the past, followed by FWB and other vehicles including immediate gratification via apps.

Let's face it, guys don't put out any more effort than they have to, in general, and when women make it easy for them to be lazy they get more lazy. When that becomes the norm, women in general had to go along with it.

The dating scene is completely different now than it was in the 80's, so for the older BARF members, especially ones who have been out of it for awhile, it's a whole different ball of wax.
 
Climber said:
The dating scene is completely different now than it was in the 80's, so for the older BARF members, especially ones who have been out of it for awhile, it's a whole different ball of wax.
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This is very true. Add into it "is this a consensual encounter... I'm a little bit trepid about getting back in the foray.
 
Well I get it that dating norms are changing. But I don't get turning down a goodnight kiss.
 
I always open the door for people.
Chivalry is not dead.

Then again, I am almost as old as Ernie.
 
Melissa said:
I always open the door for people.
Chivalry is not dead.

Then again, I am almost as old as Ernie.


NOW GET OFF MY LAWN YA DAMN HIPPIE!!!
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fify
 
hahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Thanks for making me smile on this lovely Sunday afternoon.
 
but, but I am chivalrous. Never mind my gender. It is the politeness I was grown up with.
 
Melissa said:
hahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Thanks for making me smile on this lovely Sunday afternoon.
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:teeth

Melissa said:
but, but I am chivalrous. Never mind my gender. It is the politeness I was grown up with.
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I think this has a lot to do with it. The pendulum swings, and it's on the opposite side of this swing right now.
 
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