your post inspired very conflicting emotions in me. at the end of his life, my father was barely there. not there at all, really - in hospice, not in a coma, but not conscious either. my mother was at his bedside every waking moment. i began to fear for her health, especially her mental health. my husband and i agreed, and persuaded her to come on a trip with us. and when i say ‘persuaded’, it was no easy task. and to answer the obvious question, my father was medically stable, in no imminent danger. a friend of hers volunteered to be at his side in her place while she was gone. and we told her we’d get her on an immediate flight if his condition deteriorated. a private jet, if necessary. coincidentally, we took her to paris. she’d never been outside the states. we had an awesome trip. succeeded in giving her a respite. my father passed a little over 2 months later. we rushed to get there, but arrived less than an hour too late. but she was at his side. she still talks about the ‘magical’ trip, and the restoration of emotional energy she didn’t even realize how much she needed.
am not advocating an equivalence. but if you can, just save a little space for mom. grandmother experiences the challenges periodically, but mom lives with them. recharging her battery may be a good (essential) thing. just a thought. like i said, conflicting emotions.
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