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When do you stop making the effort?

Antarius said:
The first thing I did to eliminate those types of friends, was delete Facebook.
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I deleted mine for two reasons. One is that it was a time suck and two that I spent less time in meat space with my friends. It's amazing how much more time I spend with friends now and how much we have to talk about. :)

If your friends don't appreciate you effort, don't chase after them and focus on the people who appreciate you.
 
Antarius said:
The first thing I did to eliminate those types of friends, was delete Facebook.

The next thing I did, was change my phone number and message everyone that was in my phone with my new number.

The people who contacted me were real friends, the rest, got deleted and I haven't talked to since.
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sfcootz said:
I deleted mine for two reasons. One is that it was a time suck and two that I spent less time in meat space with my friends. It's amazing how much more time I spend with friends now and how much we have to talk about. :)

If your friends don't appreciate you effort, don't chase after them and focus on the people who appreciate you.
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Kornholio said:
I dunno. You're not on my Facebook. :laughing
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Bahahahaa! Though I have a Facebook thingy, I stopped using it over two years ago...and I guess, I don't need to change my phone number, because none of them take the time out to contact me....hahahaha:rofl
 
Don't sweat it dude. When I moved to the Bay Area in 2006, I figured out who my real Army friends were. Turns out, I only talk to two of them anymore really. When I moved to San Diego last November, I figured out who my real Bay Area friends were too. As of yet, I haven't made any real lasting friends here in San Diego. I wouldn't even consider the guys in the band I play with to be anything more than working acquaintances at this point. :laughing
 
Happiness starts with me. If I'm not happy in my own skin, nothing nor no one can make me so. I will be happy with me, and wait patiently for those who enjoy my company for who I am. Not what I offer.

Meh. Life coaching is helping.

Christian
 
HondaFreak said:
Happiness starts with me. If I'm not happy in my own skin, nothing nor no one can make me so. I will be happy with me, and wait patiently for those who enjoy my company for who I am. Not what I offer.

Meh. Life coaching is helping.

Christian
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I, usually, am happy with "me." But, as much as I might be happy being home, being me, and doing what i do, it does suck to have nobody that wants to hang out or whatever the case is.

But, definitely get where you are going with it.
 
Kornholio said:
Don't sweat it dude. When I moved to the Bay Area in 2006, I figured out who my real Army friends were. Turns out, I only talk to two of them anymore really. When I moved to San Diego last November, I figured out who my real Bay Area friends were too. As of yet, I haven't made any real lasting friends here in San Diego. I wouldn't even consider the guys in the band I play with to be anything more than working acquaintances at this point. :laughing
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List of Names or it didn't happen.
 
Your question suggests you may be coming across to others in a negative way. Here's a more positive question: How do I find and maintain good friendships?

Know yourself. Be open about yourself and accepting of others. Put your name in your profile. :)
 
These days, I just stop.

If they want to stay in touch, they will, but mostly, I stop reading anything into it. Life is fucking hectic, and I have a hard time staying in touch with people I really, really like as it is. That's just life.

But if someone is bringing drama to my life, they're pretty much gone on the first offense. I may give them a second chance if the situation was understandable, but generally not. I'm too old for that shit.
 
rodr said:
Your question suggests you may be coming across to others in a negative way. Here's a more positive question: How do I find and maintain good friendships?

Know yourself. Be open about yourself and accepting of others. Put your name in your profile. :)
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In all honesty... I am fairly negative about it. I guess, after as much as it has happened, I have become bitter about it.

It is not that I do not have or maintain good friendships, but most of them ( not all) are a good distance away and the few that are close, are very much preoccupied (which I completely understand) but we still make time for each other.

I do appreciate the introspective, but at the same time, I am a very open person and have spent the majority of my adult life "getting to know myself." I do appreciate and accept other people for who they are, but with this, it seems that they do not return the gesture.
 
I like to meet up with people and hope to make some of them friends. I had my share of experiences of people who are users and they're pretty much gone from my life. As for friends, there's different kinds of friends. Some friends are good for just chilling around a bbq. Some friends are good to be with in clubs and etc.

But some friends are upgraded to long time friends who knows who you are. I can practically count my best friends in one hand. Though, sadly I don't see them as often as I want, but when we do we just pick things up from where we left off. I can't do that to some "friends" who I haven't seen in awhile. There's that awkward feeling.
 
As I get older it gets harder to maintain close friendships. I have a pretty large circle of friends, who regrettably I don't see as much since getting married, but very few of them are old friends from high school or college. A couple are but I see them about once or twice a year. I actually find facebook a good resource for keeping up with friends who've moved away or I don't get a chance to see as much as I'd like. I find the friends I see consistently are the ones I share activities with. Luckily quite a few of my friends share multiple interests.

As far as "making the effort", I figure if somebody hasn't responded to me or contacted me, I let it go. It may not be that they don't like me or want to end the friendship but are just really really busy. Just cut people slack and things will work out one way or another. Otherwise it just gets weird.

And don't worry about being part of the "cool crowd". Life ain't high school, just find people you have something in common with and do things. I'm not sure what "cool crowd" even means as an adult. Be positive, have a good attitude, and people will want to be around you. Give off a "needy" or complainy vibe and people can't run fast enough.
 
i moved around alot and was always the new kid and the outsider. i found SF and never left. i found alot of douschebags and dropped them accordingly. sometimes you feel like you should dwell on it or re-think what happened. you really shoudn't! just looking at one moment with these friends and you see all you need...if you look.
don't beat yourself up and keep it moving, keep it positive and think slow!(unless you're about to crash! then i suggest you find a solution ASAP) :D
 
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