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Do You Poo @ Work?

I share an office with two others. If I have to fart, I usually take a quick walk outside. They were both elsewhere for a while yesterday, so I felt fine about farting in the office. Not five seconds later, before I could perform a smell analysis, my boss (who is completely beyOOtifull and on whom I have a crush:shhh ) walks in.

What to do?!?!

I considered (in the 1 second warning before she entered) pointing to a non-existent rodent near her feet, but ended up rolling the dice that it was a non-stinker.

Which fortunately I think it was.
 
I blow mud every morning at work at 8:42 am.

on a side note, I was a janitor in high school. My job was to clean the men's and women's bathroom on every floor of this ten story building. The women were WAY MORE creative with their bodily fluids, especially with the little surprise box in each stall. We would play catch with the used tampons by using the string as the handle.
 
i don't care if is a 4 star hotel to a gas station,i always use the ass gasket.and yes,i 'download' @work....
 
Oh noooes.. not the 4-star hotel...

"OMIGOD, call the hotel desk, this damn toilet just sprung a leak or something, it sprayed my ass when I flushed!!"


Dude, you just dropped a log in the bidet...
 
antipathy said:
My pet peeve are the hypochondriacs who use the toilet seat covers every time they are in the bathroom. I just don't get what the point of those things are. :confused
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From this day forth, I shall not ever touch you again :barf
 
GrizzlyPeakGuy said:
..."Son, always shit on company time". I feel this advice has served as a great foundation for most of my adult life.
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Yep. :thumbup

I had a co-worker that would come to work in the morning early, sit in the breakroom and read his newspaper. As soon as 7am starting time hit, he headed to the john for his morning dump. It was like clockwork.. :laughing
 
Port4mance said:
I spend at least 10 min in the bathroom dropping the kids of and playing games on my phone.
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Yes! Another person that is like me! I poop as often as possible at work (i'm going in for my afternoon dump after this post). I try at least twice a day. It's like an added break, i can be in there anywhere from 5 minutes to 20 depending on how into my football game i get (cell phone).

I also love sending my wife and friends texts from the can and i like to make sure they understand exactly what i am doing at time of text. Maybe i'll start picture messaging them now that i got a camera phone :teeth
 
In high school I never used the restrooms.. always drove home.. Now work is a different story. I crap whenever i feel the need. Bored at work? want the time to pass? go sit on the can for 20min.. The boss asks where youve been? be honest.. they wont bother you about it again and the look on their face is priceless :laughing


cleoent I also txt ppl while on it. Sometimes i even make phone calls.. "hey wahts up. .what are you doin?" then they ask the "what are you up to" question.. "oh not much.. jsut takin a shit"
 
lizard said:
From this day forth, I shall not ever touch you again :barf
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not like you're gonna be touching her ass. or are you? :wtf
 
just got back from mine. How long was that? Jesus, 30 minutes, wow. That's even longer then usual.
 
cleoent said:
just got back from mine. How long was that? Jesus, 30 minutes, wow. That's even longer then usual.
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Good lord, how does one sit on the crapper for that long squeezin out a steamer ?? Ive never been on the pot for longer than like 5 minutes, even when I have the runs it doesnt go that long. Y'all must have issues !!! :twofinger

And, yes I do crap at work, everyday around 10ish. :teeth
 
well the actual pooping part was about 4 minutes, but i guess i got distracted with cell phone football.
 
hey sometimes it's good to just camp out and make sure you've voided everything.

take a tom clancy novel, make a day of it.
 
xgambit said:
not like you're gonna be touching her ass. or are you? :wtf
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I'm not gonna get within ten feet of her.

cleoent said:
I also love sending my wife and friends texts from the can and i like to make sure they understand exactly what i am doing at time of text.
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When talking to my brother on the phone, I like to hold my cell so he can hear the piss or poop hit water.
 
Hell Yeah I poop at work........getting paid to take a shit is the pinnacle of my entire existance....

Viva la poop-poop
 
lizard said:

When talking to my brother on the phone, I like to hold my cell so he can hear the piss or poop hit water.
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OMG :laughing :laughing :laughing

You have me rollin lizard, awesome :teeth
 
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