Do You Poo @ Work?

[xgambit]

When talking to my brother on the phone, I like to hold my cell so he can hear the piss or poop hit water.

poor phone.

do people ever ask to make calls on your cell phone?

 

[deaconblues]

watch, next he'll RECORD those noises and set them up as his ringtone.

 

[ScorpioVI]

Only twice in the last 5 years I've been working here, and those were emergencies! The people I work with are fucking disgusting with their toilet habits. I dread every trip to the restrooms not knowing what sort of stench I'm in for that that day. I swear, these fucking Europeans eat nothing but pickled herring poop or filet of chihuahua shit or some other crap but damn their shit stinks! And I swear none of them wipe and flush.

 

[*Tina*]

My friend takes pictures of his crap on his phone and the text messages them to me, YaY I look so forward to those messages !!!

 

[lizard]

Only twice in the last 5 years I've been working here, and those were emergencies!

Do you wear diapers to work? How the heck do you hold it for 5 years?

Well, it's not like you're holding it for five straight years but you know what I mean.

 

[unixgal]

http://poopreport.com/Office/Content/log.html

 

[xgambit]

http://poopreport.com/Office/Content/log.html

what did they do in there? have a C section?

 

[phildeez]

Roundboy I totally hear you brotha, taking a dump at work is the highlight of my day.

i like to bring my mp3 player... music makes me relaxed and the shit just flows from there.

 

[plumber]

I worked for this crazy asshole plumbing foreman when I started. We were do the new plumbing on 200 condos in Fremont. We had our own shit house right next to our trailer. Unfortunately the shit house seldom got cleaned. The crap and stench would build up to a point where you couldn't even close the door, it stunk so bad. This asshole foreman would take his daily crap first thing in the morning with the door open. He was a fat Benny Hill lookin' bastard. I would drive onto the jobsite early in the morning and my headlights would reflect off his fat white legs. I'd get out of my car while he was barking out orders while digging crap out of his ass..........He was one sick puppy.........

 

[zeo1500]

At my old job there in the city. Whenever you take a dump, somebody turns off the lights. The toilet is in the back part of the bathroom, so you have to feel your way to the switch. Whenever you fart in the elevator and someone walks in after, we always say it was a bike messenger.

 

[ScorpioVI]

Do you wear diapers to work? How the heck do you hold it for 5 years?

I'm regular as fuck. One in the morning after waking, sometimes one at night. Learned the art of bowel discipline while I was in the Army, you would've too if you had to share a field latrine with a company of soldiers eating nothing but MREs for a week.

 

[Donoho]

I prefer pooping at work. Even if there is someone in the stall next to me. It's a given that nobody will say anything. And it's a whole hell of a lot better than the wife saying "OH MY GOD! SPRAY SOME AIR FRESHENER FOR GOD'S SAKE! JESUS, WHAT ARE YOU SLAUGHTERING IN THERE? AND WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN? SHIT THAT STINKS. AND WHEN YOUR DONE CLOSE THE DOOR AND LEAVE THE FAN ON SO IT DOESN'T STINK UP THE WHOLE HOUSE! ARE YOU STILL IN THERE? CHRIST, DID YOU FALL IN? OR ARE YOU WACKIN' OFF?"

Of course. One of the few useful things my Dad ever told me was "Son, always shit on company time". I feel this advice has served as a great foundation for most of my adult life.

I spend at least 10 min in the bathroom dropping the kids of and playing games on my phone.

Thank You

 

[lizard]

I'm regular as fuck. One in the morning after waking, sometimes one at night. Learned the art of bowel discipline while I was in the Army, you would've too if you had to share a field latrine with a company of soldiers eating nothing but MREs for a week.

I've always wondered what MRE's taste like, do they come in different flavors, colors, textures?

 

[Valgar]

I've always wondered what MRE's taste like, do they come in different flavors, colors, textures?

Yes,

On the way out.

Actually, I kinda like most MREs

 

[Hooli]

strange as it seems, if I have to have a bowel movement when Im at a job interview, I always wind up getting hired.....

That means that you're full of shit.

 

[V4]

That means that you're full of shit.

yes, and they find that out AFTER I get hired....

 

[zefflyn]

When I worked in support at Cisco, we saw a case opened by a very dorky fellow. His complaint was that he'd sit in the handicap stall at the end of the restroom, and he'd sit in there so long the lights would turn off, and the motion detector couldn't pick him up flailing his arms in the back stall.

 

[xgambit]

When I worked in support at Cisco, we saw a case opened by a very dorky fellow. His complaint was that he'd sit in the handicap stall at the end of the restroom, and he'd sit in there so long the lights would turn off, and the motion detector couldn't pick him up flailing his arms in the back stall.

what do you mean by case? like the guy sued?

 

[zefflyn]

No, a trouble ticket. He called the help desk and asked them to fix the sensor so it would pick up his flailing on the can in the handicap stall, so he could sit there with the lights on for as long as he wanted.

 

[JackTheTripper]

I hate when that happens. Good thin my PPC has a bright screen.