• There has been a recent cluster of spammers accessing BARFer accounts and posting spam. To safeguard your account, please consider changing your password. It would be even better to take the additional step of enabling 2 Factor Authentication (2FA) on your BARF account. Read more here.

Why Women Need To Compliment and Throw Parties?

planegray said:
:laughing

Did that hurt ?


I'll counterpoint that maybe women prefer co-operative relationships based on positive reinforcement rather than adversarial relationships based on invalidation..

does that make me a woman ?
Click to expand...

If the hair fits....
 
planegray said:
:laughing

Did that hurt ?


I'll counterpoint that maybe women prefer co-operative relationships based on positive reinforcement rather than adversarial relationships based on invalidation..

does that make me a woman ?
Click to expand...

Hehe, not at all. To dissect your counterpoint, let's start with deleting the 'rather than' part because it assumes two choices and we know there are more than that. Once you do that, I think our thoughts may work together. You might be stating the desire and I might be stating the cause for the desire. Obviously, to a degree, everyone likes positive reinforcement, but do we agree that men need it less? I think the difference comes from a looong history of alpha men and beta women, but this desire comes from the transition out of that beta hierarchy to something closer to a peer. If women were still number two, they'd just know their place and that would be the end of it, but since we're trending towards gender equality, a billion check are needed along the way to reaffirm the evolving position.
 
sfcootz said:
I compliment men on their clothes, too. If they have some awesome colors or textures going on, I'll tell them and I mean nothing skeevy at all.

Try telling a lady she has a nice dress/jacket etc sometime. It's not creepy and she will probably smile at you.
Click to expand...

Damn!!! I was hoping that you were going to get all Skeevy!!! :mad
 
I wear clothes mainly from goodwill and am a severe introvert but I guess I'll start complimenting everyone's clothes and throwing huge events because I am now aware that it's something every woman does.

Meanwhile, I'll try to find a man before they all turn into insecure beer-loving, sports-worshiping angry man children who just want a mom they can fuck.
 
Last edited:
m_asim said:
I once complimented a woman on her rack. She didn't smile :|
Click to expand...

Her motorcycle rack right?

mc_rack.jpg
 
Daks said:
I wear clothes mainly from goodwill and am a severe introvert but I guess I'll start complimenting everyone's clothes and throwing huge events because I am now aware that it's something every woman does.

Meanwhile, I'll try to find a man before they all turn into insecure beer-loving, sports-worshiping angry man children who just was a mom they can fuck.
Click to expand...

pretty sure i mentioned it before but you're a hottie.
 
byke said:
Hehe, not at all. To dissect your counterpoint, let's start with deleting the 'rather than' part because it assumes two choices and we know there are more than that. Once you do that, I think our thoughts may work together. You might be stating the desire and I might be stating the cause for the desire. Obviously, to a degree, everyone likes positive reinforcement, but do we agree that men need it less? I think the difference comes from a looong history of alpha men and beta women, but this desire comes from the transition out of that beta hierarchy to something closer to a peer. If women were still number two, they'd just know their place and that would be the end of it, but since we're trending towards gender equality, a billion check are needed along the way to reaffirm the evolving position.
Click to expand...


From my experience, in the United States, I really don't think that these issues can be stereotyped to a man or a woman. I've seen just as many Alpha women as I have Beta men.

I'll agree that many people (figuratively) wear a mask, to have a higher degree of success.


To refer back to Dub's original post... how is a woman throwing a jewlery party any different than a man organizing a motorcycle club ?
 
cleverusername said:
pretty sure i mentioned it before but you're a hottie.
Click to expand...

I appreciate the thoughts of a forward person who's secure enough to be photographed on a scooter. :ride


@scootz: No shame, you can find some bangin shit between all the 70s clothes.
For me, though, I live for the 50% off sale when all the tanktops are like 2 bucks.
 
I went to a jewelry party. It was actually pretty fun and I came home with some new ideas for my own accessories/outfits. We ARE judged by how we look, whether we want to admit it or not. Plus, I was supporting someone who was running her own business and I was able to sit around and drink wine with lady friends.

What is the problem with that?
 
Daks said:
I appreciate the thoughts of a forward person who's secure enough to be photographed on a scooter. :ride


@scootz: No shame, you can find some bangin shit between all the 70s clothes.
For me, though, I live for the 50% off sale when all the tanktops are like 2 bucks.
Click to expand...

Little lady, you need to hit some of the cheap boutiques on Clement or Mission where that is pretty much the price for a new one. :)

I wear a ton of stuff from goodwill. Some of my nicest clothes are from there.
 
I think men and women TEND (there are getting to be so many exceptions nowadays that they are almost more common than the rule) to validate each other in different ways. Average Joe gets validation for the skilled basketball he played, the big $ clients he brought in at work, the sweet project car he just finished. Guys often get socialized to see their identity in terms of what they do and have.

Reg'lar Jane gets validation from her bitchin' dress that matches her purse (and often she looks for compliments for her looks, esp. from other women), the big $ clients she brought in at work, the well-attended party she hosted. There are areas of overlap, of course, but women tend to get socialized to value the way they look and the relationships they have.

Me, I like sparring and Goodwill clothes and motorcycles and successful problem solving, but I am weird in many, many ways. :laughing
 
Daks said:
I appreciate the thoughts of a forward person who's secure enough to be photographed on a scooter. :ride
Click to expand...

see that fellas? game - i gotz it.

btw that was taken when i was scrubs.
 
planegray said:
From my experience, in the United States, I really don't think that these issues can be stereotyped to a man or a woman. I've seen just as many Alpha women as I have Beta men.

I'll agree that many people (figuratively) wear a mask, to have a higher degree of success.


To refer back to Dub's original post... how is a woman throwing a jewlery party any different than a man organizing a motorcycle club ?
Click to expand...

We must be surrounded by a different demographic because of the male/female relationships I've seen, it's like 10:1 or better, though the extremes between the two seem to be shrinking. Anyway, I don't really have an answer for the motorcycle club comparison, but if I were to argue it while trying to maintain the same position, I might say it's possibly a similar desire, but from a different source.
 
sfcootz said:
Little lady, you need to hit some of the cheap boutiques on Clement or Mission where that is pretty much the price for a new one. :)

I wear a ton of stuff from goodwill. Some of my nicest clothes are from there.
Click to expand...

Lol, but then you get the cost of having to go to the city!
I incidentally found a pair of icon riding jeans at goodwill. Tags still on 'em, my size in women's.
11 bucks.
Wore those for a while until I could afford proper riding pants.

I'll generally ask where people got clothes I like. I'm a boot-lover and if people have a rockin pair on I'm just like damn get on my feet.
Don't see how it's much different than someone saying "nice bike, what model is it?"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top