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Help - How has dating changed in the last 20 years?

Important rules:

1. Be attractive

2. Don't be unattractive.

Proposed revision:

1. Be confident.

2. Don't be so sure you know what you want in a partner. You may find somebody amazing who you would have never imagined.

I'm not gorgeous or anything, just another kinda overweight late 30's nice guy. My wife is amazing, hawt, and 12 years older than me. We make an odd couple but hell if we aren't both happier than we ever could have imagined.
Also, there are more than likely a fair number of guys in their mid 30's coming off of a rough first marriage. Some of these guys will have kids, and toxic exes. Don't write them off just based on that.
 
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Also, there are more than likely a fair number of guys in their mid 30's coming off of a rough first marriage. Some of these guys will have kids, and toxic exes. Don't write them off just based on that.

sup
 
That's all I got!!!! Haha
 

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I find, that if you have high standards, the US is a particularly poor place to find a mate. The mainstream culture tends to produce shallow, entitled individuals with poor cognitive and emotional skills, and suffering from some delayed-adulthood-onset syndrome.

To those looking for LTR quality, I would recommend looking (and living) abroad.
 
^ So much truth here regarding shallow Americans. We're all about flash.
Here's an insight from a friend of mine that I worked with professionally for many years.

He was a clinical psych and when he got to be about 62 ish (now late 70's) over cocktails he opened up and lamented that he wanted to close his practice.

I'm like Gene, what the hell are you going to do? Sit around and look at your wife all day? Yeah he went on, but I'm just sick of my practice being filled with women from 25 to 40 that are outwardly normal but just don't understand that they aren't princesses and have to work.

I poured more bourbon.
Aah yes the great American society your generation created. Yeah he went on, we do it all wrong and your generation perpetuates it he countered.
 
I know much better what I want now. I don't want to date someone below the poverty line. I don't need another couch warmer. I can't related to someone like that. They better be able to support themselves decently.. if they haven't done that by their mid-30's something is very likely wrong with them.
Stick to your Standards! :thumbup

what are the percentage of women that will F on the first date?
In my 48-60 age group more than 1/2. But most of those relationships didn't go much further. The US is having an STD crisis in the 15-25 year old range.

I find that most dating BS and relationship issues can be worked out on the assumption that both the people actually like each other and don't bullshit each other.

I don't blame men or women for being on the defensive due to being burned in the past.
Yep.

Two things bother me about this:
It makes me realize I AM old.
The baseball cap cover up. I've never been a baseball cap fan.

Some hairloss doesn't bother me, if they don't otherwise seem ancient :nchantr
I came to grips I'm 60 & look 50. It took awhile to appreciate the beauty of a mature woman.

You just need to figure out what sort of guy you want and then figure where a guy like that might hang out. So easy right :p

Don't be in a hurry and it will fall into place.

Btw I hate getting relationship advice :laughing
Says the guy who is relationshipless... :laughing

^ So much truth here regarding shallow Americans. We're all about flash.
Here's an insight from a friend of mine that I worked with professionally for many years.

He was a clinical psych and when he got to be about 62 ish (now late 70's) over cocktails he opened up and lamented that he wanted to close his practice.

I'm like Gene, what the hell are you going to do? Sit around and look at your wife all day? Yeah he went on, but I'm just sick of my practice being filled with women from 25 to 40 that are outwardly normal but just don't understand that they aren't princesses and have to work.

I poured more bourbon.
Aah yes the great American society your generation created. Yeah he went on, we do it all wrong and your generation perpetuates it he countered.

:laughing
 
*looks in mirror, realizes there's a middle aged balding fella looking back.
:nchantr

I apologize. I know my comment was really offensive.

It was the below experience, pretty much identical to mine, that caused me to make that statement.

It turns out one of the guys I am chatting with has definitely got some hair loss going on :cool

I have a friend in the same spot as you, but she is a little bit older, but still what most men consider "hot". She signed up for the "introductory/free" match.com. She sent me some of her "matches" profile pictures/bio.

saggyballer1
IlikeWoodwork
Live2xcess
etc....

WTF is wrong with these guys?

The ones with hair look like Ted Kaczynsik, or a LSD throwback. The remainder are balding and look like they just came back from Pelican Bay.

Snip..

I firmly believe the way to a person's heart is through their stomach. It may not work in all cases however if you can cook, it's worth a shot :)
 
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I find, that if you have high standards, the US is a particularly poor place to find a mate. The mainstream culture tends to produce shallow, entitled individuals with poor cognitive and emotional skills, and suffering from some delayed-adulthood-onset syndrome.

To those looking for LTR quality, I would recommend looking (and living) abroad.

I agree. Having been overseas I find people there to actually be pretty more worldly and being able to hold conversations better than American woman.
 
MM - I've had the same comment too (that I'm not 'successful' enough) - from women without a home of their own, savings, or a retirement plan funded - but driving a shiny (leased) car - and I just have to wonder about their credit balance.

They are not impressed with a 10-year old Jetta, several motorcycles and a couple sailboats - that are all paid-for. Some are not even impressed with a Living Room Ducati. Imagine that.

Oh well, good filter as any I suppose.

That's the problem with being single, all I get to do is whatever the hell I want...

:laughing how could anyone not be impressed with a living room Duc?!

*looks in mirror, realizes there's a middle aged balding fella looking back.

:nchantr

I didn't see any middle-aged man at the movie last night :leghump
 
:laughing how could anyone not be impressed with a living room Duc?!

Well, while some women like a man comfortable enough to embrace his more feminine aspects, many aren't going to be impressed by a guy who keeps a girl bike in the house. :teeth
 
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