Oakland Daily Sports Newly signed Guard Richie Incognito recently sat down with us to talk about joining the Silver and Black for what may be their last year in ‘da Town. Sports Reporter Lavonda Oaklamd sat down with the big man to talk about this new opportunity.
Oaklamd: Thanks for joining us today, Richie. We are happy you took the time.
Incognito: I appreciate you having me today, Lavonda. I am very excited about this opportunity to play for this storied franchise.
Oaklamd: Great, the first thing I would like to address is your name. Clearly you have never in your life been incognito about anything, ever, but I am interested in a house sized man in his middle 30’s who prefers to be professionally addressed as, “Richie,” could we touch on that for a minute?
Incognito: Sure Lavonda, that is an excellent start. I am have always been proud of my name, that is the name my daddy gave me. I love my daddy and always try to be his good boy. If I didn’t have that name, I would not be the man I am today. I am daddy’s good boy and I play hard, not like some bitch.
Oaklamd: That’s some amazing personal truth there. Speaking of which, I see you brought your father’s severed head with you?
Incognito: Yes, Lavonda, I’m a family guy, everyone knows that about me. I get this bad press as someone who is, I don’t know, somehow insensitive or something, but really I am just a guy who loves his daddy and always wants to be my daddy’s good boy. When I was in Buffalo, they just didn’t understand that, so I had to walk away. More recently, I have gotten so much closer to my Daddy, I have him with me all the time, except when I am playing, then he waits for me on the bench. Coach is good and knows I want to be a good boy, but he says my daddy has to stay on the bench, which is fine, because I still hear him when he tells me that I do good and knock little bitches on their ass for him. He likes it when I break little punk bitches for being little punks that think they can beat me.
Oaklamd: That close relationship with your father sounds powerful. How are you bonding with the other players? Do they complain about the smell at all?
Incognito: Fuck, no, I have told them all that my Daddy is a real man, and that is what a real man smells like. They would not let some little bitch on the Raiders that was afraid of a man smell. When my daddy screams at me in the dark, he howls like a wolf and wolfs are manly as fuck. I will fucking eat their faces for smelling like bitches if they did that. I’m going to take this thing out and do some shit now.
Oaklamd: Great, Richie, well since I have no response for that, I think I am going to leave while you are taking your pants off for some reason. We really appreciate the time.
Incognito: No problem, I appreciate the opportunity to set my critics straight.
