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Men - COMMUNICATE!

Are you a good communicator?

  • Yes, I even use proper grammar in my complete sentences!

    Votes: 28 57.1%

  • Nope, but I’ll work on it k.

    Votes: 16 32.7%

  • Bachelor forever! Who cares about crazy, just give me the daily scripture verse! 

    Votes: 11 22.4%
  • Total voters
    49
kevin 714 said:
This.



Marriage sounds like a total nightmare of codependency, passive agression, and endless compromise

Fuck.that.noise
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Haha my dad always said "Don't marry them, just live with them."

I think he was talking from a financial perspective.
 
vio said:
i'm acting like my human self too. is that wrong?

dar was talking about a fairly light subject. her husband should enjoy her company.
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Not sure where I said that. Also, the OP and poll does not indicate anything regarding not wanting to be around each other. Not saying couples shouldn't talk, just saying that I've heard the "communication" speech more than once and it has nothing to do with not communicating. It has more to do with turning the dude into a verbal/emotional dumping ground.

I'm being extremely general and succinct about this, and I'm not saying all men are perfect and all women are nags, but I think women in general have just as much to learn about communication as men do. It's a two way street.
 
MikeL said:
Haha my dad always said "Don't marry them, just live with them."

I think he was talking from a financial perspective.
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Seriously. Take on twice the responsibility yet halve your assets, And bet had your future earnings you'll love her forever AND that she'll love you?

Upside? Lol
 
Godsdarling said:
Clowns, we are hip to your game! Yall don't listen when we talk to you, you state "You never said that" We have since learned this lesson and now put things in writing!

I just needed to know if he wanted to hunt Prada for the turkey or go to lake Southerland, if he wanted to do Prada in the morning we could hit the lake on our way back in. Or we can try mt Palomar instead of Prada and take the rifle for the deer hunt as well.

And I reminded him that we can't go on Sunday because we teach sunday school and have friends coming over for dinner.

I got :thumbup as a reply! COMMUNICATE![/QUOTE/]

This sounds like my SO. When asked if "this" or "that" the answer is always either Yes or No. What part of a 2 part question is answered like this and to what are you answering yes or no too? Drives me crazy!
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Snapper said:
This sounds like my SO. When asked if "this" or "that" the answer is always either Yes or No. What part of a 2 part question is answered like this and to what are you answering yes or no too? Drives me crazy!
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I'll translate:

"Doesn't matter to me, you make the decision cuz anything I say will be second guessed" :laughing
 
aminalmutha said:
I'll translate:

"Doesn't matter to me, you make the decision cuz anything I say will be second guessed" :laughing
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If we second guess each other then we usually come out and say so and then discuss or I'll tell him to just make the decision. We are so much opposites that it makes us both crazy at times!
 
russ69 said:
My wife and I spend a lot of time together. We talk all the time, mostly about nothing. We don't have much in the way of serious talk mainly because we have all the basics covered. Dumping all the drama and trying to have a nice live together is the key for us. We don't need to add any artificial drama to our relationship because we have elderly parents and they provide plenty of worry and excitement (usually bad). Life is hard enough without injecting problems about small issues.
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MikeL said:
He never said anything about women in particular injecting drama. He said there was no need to inject drama into their relationship. Be it from him or her.
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aminalmutha said:
Not sure where I said that. Also, the OP and poll does not indicate anything regarding not wanting to be around each other. Not saying couples shouldn't talk, just saying that I've heard the "communication" speech more than once and it has nothing to do with not communicating. It has more to do with turning the dude into a verbal/emotional dumping ground.

I'm being extremely general and succinct about this, and I'm not saying all men are perfect and all women are nags, but I think women in general have just as much to learn about communication as men do. It's a two way street.
Click to expand...

That's why I posed it as a question. I needed clarification. But not to make the post too wordy, I put it simply. With a question mark. As in Please elaborate and what you think that your wife keeps silent from you, because you think that would be injecting drama. What exactly does he mean, and where does he draw the line as to what is drama to him or not. I'm just asking. :dunno

Point being ... people need to use their words. You see how easily things got messed up and now I'm sure people are sitting irked behind their desks getting on the defensive. I smell that shit happening from a mile away.
Now ... If I would have been more wordy and said things throughly .. perhaps we wouldn't be in this mess.

Truth of the matter is... you don't know what people are feeling. Telling your spounse to be quiet.. it's like saying.. Please shut the fuck up. If you scold your spouse for not being quiet, then you are demanding it. Like a parent from a child.

A lot of women in marriages don't talk and defend their husbands just to spare their feelings. Cuz you guys get butt hurt when someone tells you like it is. That's when guys turn up the heat. That's when they suddenly become talkative, or want to quit the relationship. When it becomes a battle of some weird shit sorts that you need to all of a sudden win because you feel that someone is verbally saing aggressive words. That's when people start running conversations in their head and start trying to prove their point.
(I'm not verbally attacking you). Instead of maybe just taking a step back and thinking on what someone has actually said without some pre-judgement going on.

Women are thinkers. Even scans of the brain shows it that a bigger portion of their brain is active and thinking, and we make it to be like it's a bad thing.

I'm not talking out of my ass when I say that wives at home are experiencing emotional pain because their husbands come home being crabby and in one way or another putting them down directly or indirectly by saying or implying please shut up. It's a hurtful thing that occurs quite often I assure you. And that happening over and over again gets to be draining on people's health. Your spounse will directly lie to your face and say nothing is wrong after a while... when stuff if wrong. But I guess that's what husbands want. At least it's silence right. I guess their happy then.
 
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vio said:
That's why I posed it as a question. I needed clarification. But not to make the post too wordy, I put it simply. With a question mark. As in Please elaborate and what you think that your wife keeps silent from you, because you think that would be injecting drama. What exactly does he mean, and where does he draw the line as to what is drama to him or not. I'm just asking. :dunno

Point being ... people need to use their words. You see how easily things got messed up and now I'm sure people are sitting irked behind their desks getting on the defensive. I smell that shit happening from a mile away.
Now ... If I would have been more wordy and said things throughly .. perhaps we wouldn't be in this mess.

Truth of the matter is... you don't know what people are feeling. Telling your spounse to be quiet.. it's like saying.. Please shut the fuck up. If you scold your spouse for not being quiet, then you are demanding it. Like a parent from a child.

A lot of women in marriages don't talk and defend their husbands just to spare their feelings. Cuz you guys get butt hurt when someone tells you like it is. That's when guys turn up the heat. That's when they suddenly become talkative, or want to quit the relationship. When it becomes a battle of some weird shit sorts that you need to all of a sudden win because you feel that someone is verbally saing aggressive words. That's when people start running conversations in their head and start trying to prove their point.
(I'm not verbally attacking you). Instead of maybe just taking a step back and thinking on what someone has actually said without some pre-judgement going on.

Women are thinkers. Even scans of the brain shows it that a bigger portion of their brain is active and thinking, and we make it to be like it's a bad thing.

I'm not talking out of my ass when I say that wives at home are experiencing emotional pain because their husbands come home being crabby and in one way or another putting them down directly or indirectly by saying or implying please shut up. It's a hurtful thing that occurs quite often I assure you. And that happening over and over again gets to be draining on people's health. Your spounse will directly lie to your face and say nothing is wrong after a while... when stuff if wrong. But I guess that's what husbands want. At least it's silence right. I guess their happy then.
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Hey Vio :wave

I think I'm getting what you're saying.. and yeah, no doubt there's men that can't communicate for shit. One thing though, it's not just men, there's plenty of women who can't/don't make the effort either :(

I suspect most of us agree, that we'd rather have a relationship where honesty, openness, and empathy are an everyday event :thumbup
 
planegray said:
Hey Vio :wave

I think I'm getting what you're saying.. and yeah, no doubt there's men that can't communicate for shit. One thing though, it's not just men, there's plenty of women who can't/don't make the effort either :(

I suspect most of us agree, that we'd rather have a relationship where honesty, openness, and empathy are an everyday event :thumbup
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hey hey you =)
yar...communication takes effort, it's friken hard, and with how much people spend their day at work.. to come home to that.... i'm not even going to go into it.

heck.. i'm drained sitting here trying to make my point without sounding like a chirping bird. i'm exhausted.

if i was to write anything to dars husband would be:

if dar was to get in an accident and not make it... you know what you'd miss about her.. her long e-mails.
 
vio said:
...where does he draw the line as to what is drama to him or not. I'm just asking...
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Necessary drama: Someone important to your life has died or is seriously injured. The car threw a rod. You crashed on the bike. There is water in the house. The dog ran away. The kid is in jail.
Unnecessary drama: Sizzler or Outback? (OK) How do you want your eggs. (I'll eat them anyway you make them) Slacks or jeans? (I'll defer to you).

If a man/woman is in certain jobs we get asked a million questions all day long, questions that may have serious consequences. We don't want a new line of questioning when we get home. Poor the poor dude a drink, let him watch TV for a while, ask him if he is hungry? Don't add on the pile.
I do the same thing for my wife. Let her relax a bit, see if she needs anything and leave her alone to unwind. If she wants to talk she'll let me know.
 
MikeL said:
This is what is wrong with the world today. Why can't we all just make sammiches for ourselves! :twofinger
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:rofl :rofl Touche!
vio said:
hey hey you =)
yar...communication takes effort, it's friken hard, and with how much people spend their day at work.. to come home to that.... i'm not even going to go into it.

heck.. i'm drained sitting here trying to make my point without sounding like a chirping bird. i'm exhausted.

if i was to write anything to dars husband would be:

if dar was to get in an accident and not make it... you know what you'd miss about her.. her long e-mails.
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They weren't THAT long! :laughing He would miss the daily sex more I think :laughing

:thumbup
 
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